


Too Little Too Late

by arjasmo



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, More angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7117327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjasmo/pseuds/arjasmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He left her behind once before. When that happened she almost took her own life getting back to him. In the course of that he was changed forever. It’s about to happen again. Just when…well… things were getting interesting. She promised him forever but when he drags her from the middle of a battle and drops her back home with no explanation Rose is stuck. Now Rose is in literal pain as well as having to bear the deep wounds of him leaving without her, again, without explanation. When he finds her again will he have a chance of getting her back? It’s not as easy as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have long since held that Canary Wharf didn't happen. At least if it didn't then all of my stories would fit and the directions that I took would all work out. So you can believe that all of these happened before the white wall or that they never got there in the first place. If you prefer to hang with the canon, then this happened later in their adventures. If you color outside of the lines, then this happened even later than that. At least now you know where my brain is. 
> 
> This story is a little adventure, a little fluff and a truckload of angst. You’re welcome! It is a completed work, like all of mine, so I will post frequently.

Chapter 1  
Sand, silt and rocks hammered on Rose's head and face as she tried in vain to shield the young boy at her side. Jeron shrieked as a piece hit him by the ear. Rose held him closer as a result and the boy clung to her. If she could just get him to the TARDIS they would be safe. That was, of course, if she could get him across the battlefield that was overrun with Orcoani soldiers. The soldiers that were descending on them rode horrifying creatures that were horse-like but ten feet tall at the withers with hoofs as big as manhole covers. The beasts alone were enough to crush the tiny village, but on top of them the soldiers themselves were giants, wielding staffs that emitted pulses of power that acted like bombs going off all over the battle field. 

They had attacked early, just as the mothers, children and elders were having their morning meal. Of course they descended upon the camp about an hour after the men had left with the hunting parties or to the fields to tend crops. Now the men had returned and the fight was on as they feverishly tried to defend what was left of their families and village. 

The overlord Tihuan sat astride his mount on a rock outcropping overlooking the destruction. He chuckled to himself as he saw the men trying to reach their families and being struck down in the midst. There was no question this rebellion would be crushed, in truth it was more like a squabble, but it needed to be stopped, though this one was admittedly taking a little longer. It was all fine until that blue box appeared. Before that the natives had been quiet for months. He would break them though. How dare they refuse to give up half their crops to feed his race? They were clearly superior. Those weak, puny peasants should be happy just to be able to farm the rich land. And in turn they got to live. It was a pretty good deal, he mused. They kept food on his table and got to continue with their silly little existence. 

If he really thought about it, it wasn't really a rebellion; the people hadn't risen up, but simply refused to give up the crops. Their excuse had been simple; they would like to be paid, given healthcare and money to build schools and "more permanent structures". Tihuan scoffed to himself. What could these peasants want with all that? There were clearly inferior, if not downright stupid. When his people landed here a century ago, the natives had nothing. In fact they scrounged around for food like animals. Now they were farmers and he let them live. He considered it a good trade. 

Below him he could see that his soldiers were getting the upper hand. The natives talked a lot, but they had no skill when it came to fighting or domination. When pressed they folded, especially when their families were dying. At least there would be good coming from this. Word would spread and other villages would come forth with a bounty, if for nothing else than to save their own skins. He would have to consider a feast in celebration. 

Tihuan heard a rustling in the brush behind him, but didn’t turn, figuring it was his first officer, Salieed. "What do you have for me Salieed?" he asked, his eyes still on the carnage below. 

There was moment of silence behind him, then another voice, one he hadn't heard before. "I don't know about Salieed, but I'm the Doctor and I have come to talk to you. You need to stop attacking these people. They are peaceful." 

Tihuan turned to face the tall, oddly dressed man in a long brown coat and impossible hair. "They are insolent and must be punished. And I suppose you are the reason for this uprising."

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow. "Perhaps, but all they want is fair treatment. If they supply you and yours with food, they want compensation. They only have primitive medicine and no way to educate their youth. These are basic needs. They deserve them."

"THEY DON’T DESERVE ANYTHING EXCEPT DEATH AT MY HAND IF THEY DO NOT COMPLY!" Tihuan bellowed. 

The Doctor stepped back, but the intensity in his eyes did not falter. "You need to reconsider. I came to you to offer a deal, but if you cannot work with me, I need to tell you that the consequences will be dire." 

Tihuan smiled. His teeth were a wretched shade of green and he had foam accumulated at the corners of his mouth. "You didn't come here alone did you, Doctor." His voice had turned eerily calm.

The Doctor didn't answer, his murderous gaze locked on Tihuan. The warlord leaned down closer from his perch astride his horse creature. "No you didn't. I heard tale of a yellow haired companion; one that the villagers were quite taken with. She was easy to see, given the disgusting color of her hair. My men found her abhorrent. “ 

He turned back to the battlefield. "Do you hear that Doctor? My second battalion has arrived. They are highly specialized. Their weaponry is quite different. You see, they have special arrows, armed, or should I say populated, with a menace found only on this planet. It's called a Noore worm. Its job is to tunnel into its host until it can find the brain. Oh they love brain tissue. They can live up there for days until the body systems of the host cease. Until then they just travel around blindly, eating their way through. Generally though, they are fairly quick as the brains of the populous here are easy to find. I say this because your companion is directly in the line of fire. But don’t worry, if this doesn’t get her, any one of hundreds of other dreadful things we have cooked up will. War is a business, Doctor. And I am very profitable at it." The Doctor glowered at him, not knowing quite what to say in the face of his threats. 

"Now you can stay here and threaten me, or you can go to her and leave with her. The worm needs elements found only in our atmosphere and will die anywhere else. Oh and there she goes! I can see her. She was hit in the arm. It doesn't look bad, but I assure you that even a grazing wound will infect. Hopefully it will be fast and find its way to her brain quickly. It’s less painful that way. Or you can leave with her and save her, letting me finish my business here."

The Doctor's expression went from worry to fury. "If you've hurt her I can promise you I will end this, and it will not be in your favor. You have set the bar, and I intend on winning."

Tihuan laughed. "You and your puny companion are no challenge for me and my war machine. We have weapons and biological technology that will assure our success. There is no question. But time is marching on Doctor; you need to go save your companion. I'll just finish up here."

The Doctor growled loudly. If what Tihuan said was true, Rose didn't have much time. The worm or whatever it was could be burrowing to her brain right now. He couldn't take the chance. He did what he had to do; he turned and ran, all the way to Rose. 

OoOoOoOoOo

It was just a graze, Rose told herself, it stung but that was about it. Actually it hurt a lot. The boy was still clinging to her side. His father was managing to get closer moving through the battle field, but the fighting had somehow changed. The men on the giant horse creatures seemed to have let up. Then the arrows came. She pulled Jeron closer and looked down at him. The boy was shaking and crying at her side. She looked up and did a further survey of the battlefield in front of her. Curiously there were suddenly more bodies all over the place, some of them having seizures, many of them with arrows in their heads. But there was Jeron's father, still making his way. 

He was about 15 meteres away when Rose felt a sharp tug on her injured arm. She pulled free and turned, ready to fight, but there stood the Doctor. He quickly grabbed her again and pulled her away from the boy. 

"Doctor wait!" she cried, "I need to help Jeron..." 

The Doctor however, wasn't having it. He pulled her along no matter how hard she resisted. 

"Stop!" she bellowed, trying to dig in her feet. Soon he had dragged her quite a ways away and she could see the TARDIS on the next ridge. 

"NO!" She knew where she was being taken. "I have to help them! DOCTOR!" 

It fell on deaf ears as he struggled with her, finally scooping her up and unceremoniously draping her over his shoulder. This incited more howls of protest. "Doctor! He'll die without me! Let me down!" She kicked and hit him on the back trying to free herself. 

Soon they were at the TARDIS door. He opened it and carried her up the ramp, setting her with as much care as possible on the jump seat. Rose was up in a flash 

"What are you doing?" she screamed, "We can't just leave them!"

The Doctor was running around the console, flipping switches and turning knobs, ignoring her. At first Rose followed him around but finally settled near the jump seat, arms crossed, staring angrily at him. 

The Doctor ended up directly across the console from her when he finally looked up. 

Instead of the icy glare she expected, his face was soft and a little sad. Rose had no idea what on Earth he was doing. 

"Doctor?" she asked, worry creeping into her voice. 

The Doctor, rubbed his face quickly, and settled on a stony expression, as if he didn't want her to read him. Then he spoke, "Rose, I'm sorry, really sorry. But I have to. I'll... I'll be back."

"What?" she asked, but just as she did, he pulled a familiar lever, the TARDIS started to come to life and he turned and dashed out the door. 

It took Rose a second to realize what was happening and she took off after him, but he beat her there, slamming the door before she could reach it. She pulled viciously at it but it was sealed. The TARDIS was whining and the time rotor was moving. Rose knew she was being taken away. She beat on the doors until her hands were bruised, screaming for him to come back, but to no avail. He was gone and she was on her way somewhere. A deep dread spread into her chest. She knew where she was going. Not again! He couldn't. Could he?

The TARDIS landed with a thump. Rose took a deep breath, and reached for the door. This time it opened with a squeak. She looked out into the living room of her flat, Jackie staring back at her in wonder. She had been sent home... again.

OoOoOo  
1 Day earlier

Rose wandered through the wardrobe room aimlessly, lightly touching the various outfits and costumes on the shoulder. It occurred to her just how few of these she had seen, wondering just who had worn them and why. Before she had had glimpses into the Doctor's past, but only that. He rarely slipped and told her anything. She didn't think there was any reason for it other than perhaps things hadn't ended up as he would have liked. There was a lot of that for sure. 

As she wound her way around, she came across an impossibly long striped scarf and some interesting garments that inexplicably had question marks all over them. It was hard to picture the Doctor in anything other than what she had known him in. She also found the dress she wore in Cardiff just after they had met. Then the poodle skirt she had worn in the 1950s on the day of the coronation. She shivered a bit with that one, the facelessness and all. Then she stopped short. Her fingers had landed on something cool yet familiar. She parted the rack to expose a worn leather jacket. It was the one he wore when they met. The first time she had heard him say "Run". 

It had been carefully tucked away, just like everything else. Her eyes traced the wear marks on it. She couldn’t help but reach out, running her fingers down the smooth front. 

"Rose?" She jumped at a voice right by her ear.

The Doctor chuckled. "What are you doing?"

"Jus' reminiscing I suppose,..” she answered, not attempting to cover up what she was doing. 

The Doctor laid a hand on her shoulder also not moving from his position near her ear. "Seems like forever ago doesn't it?"

"Yeah," she sighed. 

There was a brief pause. Rose could feel the Doctor’s breath tickling her ear and neck. They were both very still. 

The Doctor drew a slow breath. "Do you miss me? I mean that me?"

Rose froze. This hadn't ever been anything they had discussed; beyond her telling him the he was "just different". It had been one of those subjects that they danced around never really addressing it. The truth was that she did miss him. Not sadly, not like she mourned the loss of a friend, but just like a hole. He was just gone. The new him was everything she could ask for, but she missed the him that brought her into all this. It was just a different dynamic. But how to explain that...

Rose turned to face him, finding herself nose to nose with him when he didn't step back. The closeness made her blush. "I 'spose I miss him a little. Not that I don't know that you are him. He was different you know? Maybe I miss the personality a little, but don't get me wrong, I love... where I am."

At that the Doctor shifted back and gave her a long look, not saying anything. Rose took half a step forward, closing the gap, not willing to let him away. This was the time he always bolted. As soon as anything heated up, he ran for the hills. This time though, she had his undivided attention and planned on using it. "Doctor, I have a question."

"Oh?" He looked positively traumatized, especially when Rose took his hands. 

"Something's not clear. It is like a hole in my memory."

He nodded, swallowing hard, like he may know what was coming. 

"Um, back at the Game Station or after it really, you said that you had absorbed the time vortex but that wasn’t meant to happen. But what did happen exactly?"

The Doctor's expression softened. "Oh you know, I was trying to get away from the Daleks and..."

"No, don't make something up. I remember parts, some I thought were just dreams, but they pop up every now and again. Like memories that are fuzzy. I remember looking into the heart of the TARDIS. But beyond that nothing."

"Rose, we really don't need to go into this." She could feel him pulling ever so slightly away, shifting his weight. As he did, she took him into a tight hug. "Just tell me. I need to know. I'm not taking no for an answer." She leaned back and had him at arm’s length by the shoulders. 

The Doctor stared back it her, he clearly didn't know what to say. She had him trapped. As much as he may try to wiggle free, she had him. The look on her face alone was enough to frighten off the Daleks. 

He did all he could in that moment, he looked down. His voice was very low. "I just ... well I suppose it was not good. You needed it out of you. It would have killed you I think."

"So? Then what?"

"I...I took it from you."

"Just like that? You took it from me?"

Sensing that he may have, in fact given her what she wanted he looked up and took a cleansing breath. "Yup just like that." What he saw when he met her eyes was not what he wanted. Her expression was fixed. There was no question that she wanted more. Her grip hadn't lessened either. 

"I know it wasn't that easy Doctor. Just how exactly did you take it from me?"

Again he looked down. His words game out almost mumbled. "It was a simple biological transference."

Rose stiffened and tightened her grip. "Wait, a what?" Her change in tone brought his eyes to her once again. Now she looked panicked, eyes wide and a paler hue to her cheeks. She ground out her next words. "What... EXACTLY... is a biological transference?"

He smiled, if for no reason other than to calm her. "It was kiss, just a kiss. No need to panic."

Rose's expression went to unreadable as she pondered what he said. Her hold on his shoulders slackened and then her hands fell to her sides. The side of her mouth quirked up, blooming into a big smile, though her eyes crinkled mischievously. "So you mean to tell me that I have kissed BOTH manifestations of you, and I didn’t get to enjoy either of them?”

The Doctor coughed hard, nearly choking on nothing. He sputtered again and looked up to find her soft whiskey eyes very close to his. He grasped at a straw. This conversation was evolving into something... well something he didn't know what to do about. "You mean when Cassandra was in you, you didn’t feel...anything?"

Rose placed her hands on his shoulders again, but her elbows were bent. They were nearly touching, not quite. "Somehow I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t really feel it and I certainly couldn’t enjoy it."

"Enjoy it?" he squeaked. 

"Nope. Doesn't that seem a little unfair?" Rose knew she was pushing him into unfamiliar territory. It was possible that at any given second he would turn tail and run. But he hadn’t yet and that was promising. She leaned just a little ahead, towards him, eyes landing on his lips. Did he lean in too? It looked like it and she wasn't sure, but she could feel his breath on her cheeks. 

"Yes, I suppose it is a little unfair. I've been there twice."

Rose's voice had turned breathy. "Maybe we could... I don't know, rectify that?" She took the chance and moved a little closer. 

"Mmmmm," he hummed, mirroring her. He was almost there, just a few more centimeters. 

In a second Rose closed the gap, brushing her lips to his. She didn't know how he would react, but the chaste kiss quickly deepened. It was hard to tell who actually made it happen. It just happened. She loved the taste of his lips on hers. He swiped her bottom lip with his tongue and she parted her lips hoping he would take that as an invitation. She could feel his tongue just start to enter, his hands drifted to her head and hers to his neck. She was ready to give herself to him, whatever he wanted. 

As they were about to tumble over the precipice together, a loud bell sounded and the TARDIS thumped. 

The Doctor stumbled back, his eyes glued to hers, panting slightly. "I... I set an alarm for... when we landed. I guess we're here."

Rose stood there, hair mussed up, lips showing evidence of the recent activity, but not sure what to do next. Was he using this as an excuse to stop? Did she go too far?

He didn't look much different. He looked a little shocked actually. Though seeing the expression on her face, he recovered quickly. He jumped forward, taking her hands, and landed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "I still owe you one. To be continued?"

Rose beamed back. "Yes I think so." With that he led her out of the wardrobe room towards the console room and whatever lie past the doors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked my first installment, but I thought you may like a little more plot. This bit will give you more of an idea where we are going. Please review and let me know what you think. I also love your plot speculations!

Chapter 2

"No! No! NO!" Rose screamed, stepping out of the TARDIS, then turning around and kicking the wood. For that she was instantly for that she was instantly sorry.

Jackie gripped her, spinning her around to face her. "Rose! You're home! Oh, you're injured!" She looked closely at the bleeding wound on her daughter's left shoulder. 

"He did it again Mum!" she cried, "I can't believe it!" Tears streamed down her face. 

Jackie took her into a tight hug. As she did, a loud wheezing came from behind them. Rose broke free and turned just in time to see the TARDIS dematerialize. 

Rose stood there stunned, face matching Jackie’s open mouthed stare. They looked at each other, both sharing the same thought. He left the TARDIS last time, this time he didn't. He brought it back to him... without her. 

Jackie, for lack of something better to do, went about fussing over Rose's arm. Rose however, stood silently not even bothering to wipe her tears from before. But now suddenly the tears stopped, yells did not erupt, nothing happened, she shut down. She vaguely heard something about A+E and numbly followed as her mother took her for stitches. 

As they waited, Jackie took her to a secluded corner and tried to glean any information she could. Rose hesitantly told her about the village, the people and the Doctor. He had wanted to take her there because there were seven waterfalls all falling into one river, all in the same area. The people had been gracious and lovely. But the Doctor and Rose never made it to the falls. After meeting the villagers, they were treated to dinner and had been separated for the night. They were to hike to the falls in the morning. That's when the village was attacked. 

Jackie still grilled her. There has to be something else, honey, what could have happened between you two that would have caused him to leave you? Rose shook her head slowly, but then stopped. "We kissed."

"You kissed him or he kissed you?''

"Mum we kissed; he was as much into it as I was. He even told me that it was 'to be continued' when we were interrupted."

"Do you think that was it? Did your kiss scare him?"

Again Rose shook her head. "Maybe. I thought he liked it. Maybe I misread him."

Shortly thereafter, Jackie recognized a friend that sat next to her and started to chat animatedly. As she did Rose turned inward. Dark thoughts quickly invaded Rose's mind. She couldn’t help it, they just kept coming. The whole situation only got worse with each passing moment and the increasing pain in her arm.

She didn't even register when her mother switched topics with her friend to gossip on the estate. She couldn’t hear the women at all. She pictured the time in the wardrobe room. Had he not wanted to kiss? Had he decided that she went too far and dropped her off? Would he just leave her without so much as a goodbye, let alone an explanation? It all happened so fast. Had she done something wrong on the planet? Why had he pulled her away from Jeron? She wondered if that sweet little boy had lived. He probably didn’t. She could still feel how he clung to her. She could hear his anguished cries as explosions went off around him. All she wanted to do was keep him safe. Why had the Doctor chosen that moment to take her away? There were so many questions. 

A cold chill seeped in and surrounded her heart. It tightened until she thought she couldn't draw a breath. Had he taken her from the battle to because he felt she couldn’t fight? Had he then left her because she was getting too close? Maybe he didn’t really want her. Maybe "to be continued" was his excuse to stop. Then he left her at home, wounded. He was never coming back. 

Rose barely reacted when the young intern asked what happened, Jackie made up a story on the spot about dropping a glass on her by accident while Rose was picking something off the floor. She knew it was a lame excuse, but he seemed to take it. After several hours Jackie took her home. Rose had only said about ten words since her initial explanation. Jackie fussed, made tea that ultimately went cold, then bundled her daughter in bed, gave her a pain pill hoping that a night's sleep would bring new light to her stricken child. 

Rose lay awake for some time, no real thoughts in her head, just staring. In the early morning her eyes slowly shut. Her dreams were restless, images of the Doctor walking away, telling her that she never should have kissed him, him ignoring her; him leaving her places all populated her head. Soon other dreams emerged. Ones of pain, aliens chopping off one of her arms, biting, chewing on it, and even though she could see her arm on the floor she still felt the pain of each tooth. 

Rose woke up to a horrific, throbbing, burning pain in her left arm. So much so that she cried out. Jackie was there instantly, flipping on the light. Rose looked down at her arm. It now had black streaks in a spider web pattern all up and down it, and a lump... a MOVING lump migrating slowly up to her shoulder. They both watched in horror as it approached the sutured wound. Rose shrieked. The wound seemed to be changing, bowing out. Rose shrieked again as she realized that something was pushing on the stitches- from the inside. Jackie screamed too. "Rose! Something is trying to come out!"

"Mum get scissors! Cut the stitches!" 

Jackie raced into the kitchen where Rose could hear utensils hitting the floor as her mother frantically looked for some sort of shears. The pain was intensifying; not only was her whole arm on fire, but whatever was in her arm pushed mercilessly on the threads. After what seemed like forever, Jackie ran back in with a with a hobby knife and tried to hold her daughter still a she slit each stitch. After she had managed to slit four of them, the thing that was trying to break free all but squirted out. 

The two looked in horrified fascination at the fat, four inch long worm now wriggling on the floor. It flopped a few times then lay still and then Jackie promptly squashed it with one of Rose's trainers. 

Jackie and Rose sat in silence for a minute. Finally Jackie spoke, "What was that all about?"

"I have no idea." Rose answered. She looked down at her still throbbing arm. "Mum, I don't know what is was, but there is something very wrong with my arm."

OoOoOoOo

The Doctor stumbled into the TARDIS, collapsing onto the grating. The sounds of the screaming villagers had finally quieted. Those who were left were too shocked or injured to vocalize. The village had been all but lost. The only people left were the ones that played dead or were able to run into the hills or hide effectively. The crops were lost, all of them, and the ground was scorched beyond recognition. 

He wanted to stay and help them pick up the pieces if there were any pieces left, but he could no longer stand. Tihuan had made a business out of war indeed. His weapons were horrific at best. The worm alone had killed many, but then the soldiers came with poison tipped swords. That is what finally got the Doctor. He was trying in vain to save a stricken girl when the soldier came from behind. When he turned to face him, he was slashed across the abdomen. 

His superior biology was no match for the chemicals of war. He couldn't heal himself. 

 

When he finally dragged himself to the med bay he saw the extent of the damage. The wound was deep and already starting to fester. There wasn't much blood, but it had cut clean through muscle, stopping mercifully just short of major organs. He tried to use his typical methods of healing, only to have no effect, more damage or excruciating pain as a result. He could feel his body attacking it and there was hope, but it would take time, maybe weeks or longer to heal. It was different not being able to just heal himself. Now it seemed it was just a matter of time. For now though, he needed to go find Rose. Maybe the "to be continued" could continue as they both recuperated. 

He smiled against the pain. With her there was a chance. There was happiness. His heart warmed just thinking about it. It was nice, replacing the abject horror he had just witnessed. 

He thought about her reaction to being left. He had no choice. The worm would have killed her. Even if he hadn't moved her she would have been killed, along with the boy she was protecting and his father. He hoped she wouldn't have too hard of feelings, but the plan was to be there about 15 minutes after he left her. Then he would heal any damage the worm did straight away. At least in that small of time it couldn’t do much. Maybe tunnel a little but not far yet. If it had been left for even an hour or two it would have done a lot of tissue and nerve damage. That was if it didn't make it to her brain. Maybe it would just die quickly in earth's atmosphere. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too mad if he was there soon. He was sure she’d be fine after he explained himself. 

Whatever happened, he would be happy to have Rose back. Once he was back on his feet as it where, they could go face Tihuan together. He laughed at the picture that played in his head of a Tyler family slap on the overlord's face. Then he groaned at the blossoming pain. 

Wrapping himself as best he could, he carefully made his way back to the console room to program a course back to Rose.

OoOoOoOo

Jackie sat on the couch nursing a cuppa when the familiar noise of a materializing TARDIS filled her flat. However when the door creaked open to reveal a tall, smiling though somewhat slumped Timelord she didn’t get up.

The Doctor looked at her confused. "What, no hello? No ‘Where have you been?’ NO how could you have dropped off my daughter slap?" Come now Jackie, you're losing your touch."

Jackie continued to eye him. Though he waited for her to speak, her silence was unnerving. Finally she drew a breath. "It's been over 2 years."

"WHAT? No it hasn't! I was so careful this time."

Jackie merely tossed a gossip magazine to him, which he promptly dropped. She noticed him wince as he leaned over to pick it up. He stared at it with indignation, and then frowned, eyes widening. "Jackie, is she here? Is she mad?"

"Oh, she left mad behind a long time ago.”

"Where is she? I have to go there and apologize."

"She's moved out a while ago, Doctor." The look on her face was sad but not grief stricken. It just looked as though she had been sad for a long time. The Doctor came over slowly and joined her on the couch, knowing there was more to the story and perhaps this time he should actually listen.

Jackie, taking his actions as cause to continue, drew a long breath. "She waited for you, here, barely ever leaving for months. But the longer she waited, the more anxious she got. She got short, mean, nasty and I… had to kick her out. It was the hardest thing I ever did. But I just couldn't take it anymore. That was at the year mark. Right then she got much worse. I guess she figured that a year is what you miscalculated before. It was awful waiting though. She would flip from hopeful to angry at the drop of a hat. Nothing I said worked. I had to send her out or she would have pulled me down too.” With that, tears rolled down Jackie’s cheeks. 

The Doctor sat bewildered at her side, not sure what to do. "I don't know what to say Jackie. I tried to get right back. "

"It bloody didn't work did it?" she asked, the first bit of anger now showing. He stood, with difficulty, and took a few steps. Jackie’s eyes followed him noticing the pain he tried to conceal. 

"Are you hurt?"

"I have to go to her. Now. Where is she?"

Jackie stared back at him, hoping he would answer the question, but when that didn't happen she spoke up. "She works at a bar about 5 blocks from here. I don't know what it's called. I mean that's the last place anyone has seen her. She hasn't talked to me in months. Do me a favor Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't just go bounding in there and try to sweep her off her feet. My Rose is... injured, in more ways than one. If she sees you she will most likely run or just lose it entirely. Be gentle, you have a lot of work to do." She took a steadying breath. "Please, Doctor, bring her back to me. I have tried so hard, but she pushed away. I need my Rose."

The Doctor laid a hand on Jackie's shoulder. He could feel her stifle sobs. "I will Jackie. I’ll bring her back to you. I hope she will see me. I'm sorry, I never intended on this happening."

"I know you didn't. You’re not that sort of man. But after all this time I think that she thinks you are. Good luck. "

"Thank you. Uh can I leave her," he indicated the TARDIS,"here? She's had a bit of a tough go and needs to recover. If I fly her around London you never know where I may end up."

"Whatever." Jackie turned back to her tea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! So now we get to see a little more about what Rose is thinking. Fair warning, she is not happy to see the Doctor, hence my “truckload of angst” comment initially. I am physically unable to have an unhappy ending, so take heart. It will just be a long road. Please review. I am very eager to hear what you have to say.

Chapter 3

Not knowing where to go and forgetting to ask Jackie in exactly which direction the bar “five blocks away” was, he found himself scanning for Rose's biorhythm with his sonic; this required walking, a lot of walking. And walking around was hard and getting harder. His body ached and the farther he went the more he felt weak and dizzy, but he forced himself on. 

Hours later, long after the sun had set, he got a weak reading. It led him to an exceptionally seedy part of town. The establishment itself had no windows, just a door propped open by a big stone. Classic rock music came from the inside out into the street. Inside wasn't much brighter than the evening. 

The Doctor dropped onto a bus bench across the street. He could peer into the bar from there undetected. At first all he saw was a collection of rough creatures. Here and there a loud voice sounded and periodically someone would be tossed out. Then after what seemed like forever, but was actually twenty nine minutes and fifteen seconds, there was a flash of blonde behind the bar. Rose. 

He leaned forward and took her in. Her hair was longer, now pulled back in a sloppy ponytail. She wore a loose hooded sweatshirt. He took her in as she was working and talking to patrons. Right away he noticed a few things that were different about her. First she didn't smile and her eyes never lit up as she talked. Even as there was raucous laughter she didn't join in. And she moved different now, slower maybe. Then it hit him. She barely moved her left arm. It hung limply by her side. She put it up and down on the bar periodically, but didn't grip bottles or hold her tray with it. Sometimes she would use it for hand gestures, but it never went above her abdomen. 

He sat back. What happened? Then the reason dawned on him. It was the reason she had to come here: the worm. He had hoped it would die as soon as she got here but he supposed it had not. It must have bored though her muscles and nerves just from the looks of it, it was clear it did a lot of damage. 

Suddenly he felt sick; it could have gone to her brain. It could have killed her. Thank the Gods it went down instead. Its lack of direction saved her life, but left her scarred. He had let this happen. He should have never left her just go but should have seen to it that the worm had been properly removed. But he dropped her and went back to stop Tihuan. Another bad decision. 

All of a sudden he felt nauseous. He wretched once but nothing came out. Two years’ worth of her pain was on him. She had been suffering without him to help. He had to fix his Rose. He had done this. Now his sweet, kind Rose was sad, angry and above all not happy. That simply wouldn't do. 

It was nearly closing time when the Doctor got the nerve to cross the street and approach the bar. Several men had come staggering out here and there. He even found cause to disable one's car as he bumbled over to it. He thought to himself that maybe he saved a life by doing it, but then chastised himself for trying to make himself feel better in the face of what lie ahead. 

Rose was at the bar and had watched another patron leave, but had just looked away from the door when he slipped in, stopping in a shadow. He was the only patron in there now. She did look up though, noticing a figure. "Last call mate," she drawled. "Order now or forever hold your peace."

The Doctor stepped forward into the light. Rose's eyes flitted up and down his frame before it registered. Horror filled her eyes, switching almost instantly rage. 

"Get out," she growled from behind the counter. 

"Rose please let me explain," he started.

"What? That you're sorry for leaving me with no explanation, that the boy I was protecting probably died because I wasn’t there, that you and I..." she stopped, face red, gripping tightly to the towel she had in her hands. "Get out or I’ll have you thrown out."

Just then a tall, burly, bald headed man came out a door at the back of the bar carrying a case of vodka. "Everything OK here Rose?" he asked. 

"Yes Milo, this bloke was just leaving,” she said, not taking her eyes off him. The other man changed his direction to walk towards the Doctor, setting the case in his hands down and cracking his knuckles. 

"You seemed to have upset Rose here. You can leave now by the door, under your own power, or through the wall under my power. Your call." 

The Doctor gulped. He had no question that the man was good for it. He also knew that given his present state of injury he wasn't up for a fight. He took one look back at Rose, her expression hadn’t changed. He briefly thought about trying to reason with her, but it was clear how she thought about him at that moment. This would be harder than he ever thought possible. He's lost his Rose, the shell of which stood before him, hating his very being. 

He slumped his shoulders and started for the door, a hundred apologies flying around in his head but nothing close to appropriate for an irate companion. As he reached the threshold Rose called out behind him. "Go away Doctor, I never want to see you again. Go ruin someone else's life."

The words could have been bullets considering how they hit his hearts. He turned back to her; just to take one more look and what he saw was pure, unadulterated anger, maybe even bordering on rage. It was unbelievable difficult to see. He then turned back and headed out into the street. He had fully intended on saying something meaningful when he turned back, but words escaped him. 

Inside, Rose took a steadying breath. She had played out in her mind a hundred times how it could go when or if he came back. Of course she was still startled by it. She had prepared a speech about how it felt to be left, and what a horrible person he was and banished him to a life without love, but none of that came out. She had hoped she would be more eloquent, but anger won out. To be honest, anger won out a lot. 

The bald man came up to her and took her into a tight hug. "You alright love?"

"Yes Milo, just an old...boyfriend." Milo nodded leaned back and then started to help her put things away. 

At least having Milo around was comforting. He looked like he could tear anyone's head off at any given second, but in truth he was quite a softy. He was viciously loyal though, especially to her. The only drawback was that he was dumber than a hammer. But the combo of dumb and loyal made for a great bouncer and protector. She never had to worry about bar patrons, as Milo would dispatch them almost before they caused trouble. He loved her too, but like a little sister. Plus he had a helmsman in the Royal British Navy as a boyfriend. 

OoOoOoOo

About a half hour later, Rose exited the bar, Milo looming over her. She looked around up and down the street but didn't see the Doctor. Milo then checked the nearby alleyways but came up empty. 

"It looks all clear, my lady. Are you sure you want to walk alone?"

"You mean like I do every night? I'm fine Milo."

"But what about..."

"I don't see him, and I'll kick him in the arse if I do. Go home to Kenny."

Milo took Rose by the shoulders and kissed her forehead. I'll see you tomorrow love." And with that he turned and left. 

Rose then turned, reached into her right pocket and fished out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She took the cigarette in her mouth and lit it, all using her right hand. She took a deep breath and sighed, then glanced around again for the Doctor. He wasn't much of a hider, he usually made himself known. Maybe he just gave up. It was unlikely given his personality, but she never knew. 

Seeing him had brought back painful memories. It was more than that, it was as if the images of what happened just before he abandoned her came crashing back, followed quickly by thoughts about what had transpired since. She vividly saw and felt the look of the little boy as she was torn away, the excruciating pain the worm caused, the loneliness she felt when he didn't come right back and the rejection of him not ever coming back. 

She knew that she was being difficult. Her mother didn't deserve her ire but she was trying to keep Rose positive, and that was too much. Getting kicked out hurt, badly, but only added to the pile of bad feelings. She knew why her mother needed her to move. She was being horrible, like a child that didn't get her way. Living outside her mother’s flat was actually easier. No one cared much about her now. Well except Milo, but he was protective of everyone. He didn’t even know anything about her, nor had he never been to her flat. 

Landing the job at the bar had been about perfect. The patrons were pent up in their own addictions and no one bothered her. It was lonely if she thought about it, but that is what she deserved after having to abandon that boy and that family. It was a price to pay. 

Rose trudged on. It was only a few blocks to her flat. Here and there she would see a shadow or hear something, but chalked it up to her imagination. She took another drag on her now short cigarette, then dropped it on the sidewalk and crushed it out. 

"That's littering," came a familiar voice from behind her. She spun around to see the Doctor, only feet behind her, leaning casually on a wall and giving her a half smile. His eyes were warm though, yet imploring. 

Rose squared up to him and he stood up to face her. "I thought I told you to leave me alone. I don't know how much more clear I can make it. Get out of here. Leave me be."

Rose's voice was tired, more gravely than he remembered. On closer inspection, she had dark circles under her eyes that he didn’t see earlier this evening. She had been covered with heavy makeup. Overall she wore much more face makeup than he remembered. Her eyes were dark too, with thick black eyeliner and dark purple eye shadow. He wondered for a moment what exactly she was hiding from. The piercing look that she gave him made it clear that it was him. 

"Rose I need to apologize. I miscalculated the time. I was trying to come back only a minute after you got here. I seemed to have over-compensated."

"Well you can just 'over-compensate' yourself back to your stupid ship and get out of my life. I'm done with you." Rose turned back around and started down the street again. Before she could get away though, she felt an arm on her left shoulder. Flipping around she grabbed the arm, put her right hand on his chest and pushed with everything she had. The Doctor flew back, unable to get his footing, flailed, and ended up crashing down on the sidewalk, crying out in pain.

Amazed at how easily he went down and by his yell, Rose gawked at him, but only for a second before her anger slammed back into place. "You see how you are right now? Down? Well that's what you did to me! You broke me. Now leave me the hell alone.” The look he was giving her was sad and pained, but he didn’t speak.

Rose turned again and stalked off. She had made it about half a block away when she heard another little noise. It was more like a sob, but quiet, like it was not meant to be heard. Looking back, he was still down, but now had his hands on his abdomen. His jacket front was open now and there was something all over his hands. Blood? She shook her head. She hadn't pushed him that hard. Rose took two steps away but was held up by some unseen force. Maybe compassion, maybe some latent feeling for him but whatever it was it caused her to jog back. What she saw scared her to death.

The Doctor was now partially reclined on the wall nearest him. He had his hands pressed to his abdomen, but blood was seeping out of a large wound. His breaths were slow and measured. He didn’t look back at her when she got up to him.

"What? How?" she asked, kneeling down. 

He drew a slow breath. "It's just a wound. I'll be ok."

"Bullocks." She reached down with her right arm and took his hand, heaving him to his feet. He groaned quietly in the process. Once he was up he was still slumped over leaning on her. His breathing had become more ragged. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

“I can't have you bleeding all over the sidewalk. You'll be robbed and probably killed for your shoes here. I'm only helping you so you don't die or regenerate. This means nothing, know that." The Doctor nodded into her shoulder as she practically dragged him down the block. 

Her flat was mercifully close to where he went down. It was the stairs that posed the biggest problem. Rose pulled and lifted, all with her right arm. She almost gave up twice, but finally got him to her flat. 

After keying her way in, she dumped him unceremoniously on a worn couch along the wall and then stood to face him, still out of breath from lugging him up there. "What did you do to yourself now?" she demanded. "What about your superior biology and all that rot?" Her voice was not kind, but insistent. 

He looked up at her pitifully, hands still around his wound. He drew a long breath. When he spoke his voice was low and strained. "It was one of the weapons of the warlord. It was made to wound you, but in the case of not killing you outright, it was laced with something that continues to burn or do tissue damage. Nothing I have can counteract it, and believe me I’ve tried. Most everything I have only made it worse or didn’t do anything. I'm healing though, just painfully slow. Though I think I may have torn something new when I fell."

Rose didn't apologize; in fact her face did not change at all. She just looked angry. What she said next surprised him. "Well I guess I better get you something to cover that. I'll go to the 24 hour pharmacy. But when I'm back, you leave."

He nodded slowly still trying to appraise her. Before he knew it she was gone, the door banging shut behind her. 

The Doctor looked around the room taking stock. The flat was really nothing. He sat on the couch, but that was the only sitting place in the main room. She didn't even have a kitchen table. In the little kitchen there was nothing to see either. There were no colorful magnets on the refrigerator and no pictures stuck to it. In fact there were no pictures anywhere. The walls were devoid of any decoration at all. It struck him just then how bleak it was in there. Nothing even looked like Rose. There wasn't even anything pink around, also unlike her. 

Figuring he had a few minutes, he painfully got to his feet and poked around. There was nothing in the kitchen as far as food. All he found was a salt shaker, missing its pepper partner. There were some mugs and other things around including a kettle but even it had seen better days. The fridge was completely empty except for a questionable bottle of mustard that may have actually come with the flat. He was just about to peek into her bedroom when he heard the key in the lock and had to rush to sit again, realizing quickly that that was a mistake. 

His face was screwed up in pain when she finally opened the door. Still though, her expression didn't change. She dropped a bag on the couch beside him and then picked it up and emptied it out on the cushion. Next she wordlessly moved his hands from his abdomen, unbuttoned his shirt and went to work packing gauze in the wound.

It struck the Doctor just how intimate it was to have her open his shirt and move so close. In the past he might have made a cheeky comment about the good looking nurse or something but as he drew the breath to do just that, he bit his lip. She wouldn’t have taken it well to say the least. 

A few minutes later she finished, having him sit up and wrapping roller gauze around his middle to secure the other dressings in place. It was a little awkward due to her not using both arms, but it finally came together. 

The Doctor smiled warmly at her. "You are very good at this Rose. I didn't know you had all these skills, I would have gotten hurt more often if I..."

She cut him off. "Milo gets in scrapes all the time, I have to put him back together," was all she offered, getting to her feet. 

"Oh, but thank you anyway. I couldn't just go to A+E now could I? Now about the matter of your arm; I think that the little worm may have had a little too much fun in there. But I think that if you were to come with me I could fix you right up."

The Doctor had expected Rose to answer, maybe he would have to do a little convincing, but that was not the case at all. Rose didn't even react, no smile, nothing. "I expect you to be out when I wake in a few hours. Then I never want to see you again." Her voice now was monotone, dead sounding. With that she turned and walked into the bedroom, closing the door. The Doctor winced when he heard her turn the door lock behind her. They both knew that he could be past that lock in seconds, but it was the gesture that made the Doctor wince. She didn't want him there. There was no question. 

The Doctor's wound was more comfortable, but his hearts now ached horribly. She didn't say anything about her arm when he offered to help her. In fact she told him to leave. She was worse off than he thought. Initially he thought that just being around her would pull her back. Like if she saw that he had made a mistake and did actually want her that she would come back. That wasn't going to be the case. Rose bore much more than her physical wounds. Unintentionally he had broken her heart and not coming back damaged it more. He wondered if perhaps it was past the point of being able to heal her. He stood. He had to fix Rose. He did this to her, though he didn't ever want to. But the life she was living now was far from the good life he wished on her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of two I’m posting today. You know that bit about life handing you lemons? Well I will be making lemonade all weekend and most likely will be unable to post. Thank you for your kind words and thoughts about this story. I’m also posting to give you a little hope about the outcome.

Chapter 4  
Inside the bedroom, Rose lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. When the Doctor had first abandoned her, she had spent many nights out on the balcony looking up at the stars, hoping to see him. But after months the stars became a symbol of what she couldn't have; like she was being mocked from above. Then she stopped looking, stopped hoping. Now he was here and she wanted nothing more than for him to leave. She wasn't punishing him, which had faded, the need for revenge. Now she just wanted him to leave. 

He offered nothing anymore. What could she get from him? More heartbreak? More physical pain? The chance of being abandoned again, maybe even somewhere else so that she could never go home? No, he needed to go find someone else to drag into danger. She rubbed her left arm. It was aching again, as it did every night. Now it bothered her even more so because she had to manhandle him. 

There was a time when she would have been miffed at him for leaving her, but taken him back without a question. But that was then, this was now. This was the new Rose Tyler, one who didn't trust anyone. Why? They all hurt her in the end. No, she had grown up. Now she had no need for adventures. Now she just wanted to be herself, without outside influence. Too much time had passed. She didn't even mourn him anymore. Now he was just an annoyance. 

Rose fell into a fitful sleep, half wondering if he would get past her lock and try again. Five hours later when she woke she came out to find him gone. She took a certain satisfaction in him following her wishes. That was until she pulled on her jeans and shoes and went out to find some breakfast. 

When she opened the door, she found two shopping bags blocking her way. They came with a little note that was open on top. "I noticed a serious lack of tea in your kitchen, and then saw a lack of everything else. So I decided to rectify that," was scrawled in the Doctor’s familiar handwriting. Rose stepped over the bags and headed out of the building. 

OoOoOoOo  
An hour later when Rose returned, she found that the bags in front of her door had been picked through by her neighbors. Frustrated, she opened her door and pushed both bags inside with a foot. "No need to feed the wild animals," she thought. She didn't however; take what was left out of the bags. Next she went about collecting laundry and going downstairs to do it, showering and getting ready for work. 

At half six when it was time to leave, she was generally pleased that the Doctor hadn't bothered her again, given his usual persistence. That was, until she opened her front door and found a travel mug filled with coffee waiting for her. There was another note attached. This one simply said, "Have a nice day (night) at work." 

The mug was one of those nice aluminum ones. Rose picked it up and looked around; taking a sip once she saw she was alone. The coffee was just as she liked it. It even had a little cinnamon in it. She felt a little pang of guilt taking it, but it was just what she needed and good coffee was scarce. Plus she knew where she stood. He wasn't going to get her back. That ship had long ago sailed, so free coffee was a perk. It didn't mean anything as far as she was concerned. It didn't do much to help her mood though. Just having him around made her nervous. Unpredictability was his M.O. and that was disconcerting. He could be anywhere. Hoping he would just disappear wasn't going to work apparently. Eventually she would need to confront him head on. But for now she could just ignore him. 

Rose's anxiety showed at work. The first to pick up on it was Milo. "Rose, love, I know that you are not the sweetest soul to ever grace this bar, but you're crankier than normal. Is this about the ex?"

Rose sighed, leaning against the bar and tossed her towel at the sink. "I guess so. He won't leave." Milo looked concerned. "No it's not like that. He'd never do anything. He is just not much for giving up. He's not violent or anything."

"Well that's a relief. How's about I walk you home tonight, in case he comes round again?"

"No, I'll be able to send him off. He's even better than some of the scary blokes that have stalked me at night." 

Just then there was a crashing sound. Milo and Rose whipped around to find two men had started a fist fight amongst the tables. Milo jumped over the bar to break them up. With the help of a few regulars they were separated. Rose remained behind the bar. 

"Oi! you two! Out! Consider yourselves banned!" Rose bellowed at the two, currently being restrained by Milo and another man. One of the two turned his head to her. 

"Come on sweetheart, we're just mates mixing it up a bit. Billy and me, we're army buddies. Why don't you come over 'ere and 'ave a drink with us? I bet you'll delight in our company." Milo and the other man loosened their grip when it was clear the men were actually friends. The duo wore matching short cut hair had similar tattoos on their hands, arms and necks. When let go they embraced. 

"See?" hollered Billy, "Mikey 'nd me is best of friends. Come talk to us."

Rose stood her ground. "Out. Both of you. I'll not have fighting in here."

Mikey's face turned sour. "What, you don't like our type. Well you dirty chav, I can show you just how good we are." He started to advance on Rose, but Milo had him instantly, nearly launching him out the door. Billy was soon to follow. He wasn't tossed, but left when Milo rounded on him and all the other men in the bar stood. Billy must have been the smarter of the two, though "smart" was clearly relative. 

Milo stayed outside for another half hour to be sure that the drunk combatants left. When he was comfortable, he came back in. 

The rest or Rose's shift went along much calmer. She was relieved when the Doctor didn't come in. The last thing she needed tonight was another visit. 

Finally closing time came. It was Rose's Friday so she looked forward to a few days off; though she would most likely be back as a patron. Without real friends and since she had alienated her mother, there really wasn't much to do now. 

She locked the door as Milo looked on. "Rose can I please walk you home? Those guys... the ex... You know. "

Rose gave him a weary smile. "No, I saw you texting earlier. I know you have plans. Just go. I can take care of myself. The ex isn't an issue. He knows I don't want to see him. And those guys are gone. The probably found another pub. I'm good."

Rose then gave him a peck on the cheek and turned for home. She lit her normal cigarette as she walked. If she thought about it, she wasn't really a smoker. She didn't crave them when she was home. It was just something about getting off work that made it taste good. The burning end of the cigarette, however, was the perfect focus for the eyes that watched her from the shadows. 

OoOoOoOoOo

As Rose walked, she could feel the eyes on her. With each step she got increasingly mad. She had told him that she didn’t want to see him again and she had to admit he was doing a good job of keeping out of her line of sight. He was louder tonight though than last. He must have tripped over a trash can or something. He wasn't being very stealth that was for sure. 

She quickened her pace. He was faster than her, but maybe in his weakened state she could get the upper hand. She whipped around the corner, almost home, and came face to face with the two men she had kicked out of the bar. Rose let out a gasp. This was not who she anticipated confronting. Both men wore sneers. Billy spoke first. "Well hello there, uh, Rose is it?" 

"Leave me alone," she countered, voice hard and a little elevated. 

"Oh no," it was Mikey this time. "You see miss, we got to talkin' and decided that it wasn't nice for you just to toss us out. We wanted to chat with you about that. "As the men talked, they walked forward. Unconsciously, Rose was stepping back to maintain the distance. What she couldn't see from behind was that they were walking her around the corner and into a dead end alleyway. 

Too late, Rose figured out what was happening. Her back hit hard against a large trash bin and she stopped. At that moment she knew exactly what they were doing. Mikey advanced quickly, slamming her against the bin. She felt her head connect hard with it. His grip on her shoulders was like iron, and she could already feel bruises starting. As quick as a whip, Rose kicked up with her knee, landing it soundly in his groin. He screamed out and tossed her to the ground. She landed on her left side so all she got from her already injured arm was searing pain but no stability. She hit the rough concrete hard, striking her cheek bone. 

As Mikey nursed his now injured genitals, Billy stepped up, grabbing her by the right arm and tugging her to standing. "That's not how it's done missy. Rose reeled back and broke his hold on her then came in with an elbow to the side of his face. Upon impact she would feel the bone breaking. She made a note to thank Milo for the training. Billy stepped back but looked like he was coming in again. Rose jumped to the side of the bin for cover just as there was a loud BANG and a bright flash. She heard both of them hit the ground groaning. When she peered around the side of the bin, she saw the silhouette of the Doctor standing at the mouth of the alley. He moved into the light and she saw his face. He wore an expression of pure rage. She had only seen it before in the face of war. 

When she stepped out and surveyed the scene, he looked at her, face switching instantly to soft. "Are you OK?" he asked. 

"'M fine Doctor, I could have had them. What is your deal with having to come to the rescue? I can handle myself. You need to leave me alone."

"I can see how you handle yourself. It was...brilliant. "He toed the ground with his trainer." I just thought you could use a little assistance, you know, to even the odds. Oh, you're injured here let me..." He stuck out his hand and started towards her."

"No! I'm fine; I told you that I don't need you. Leave me be!" She shouldered past him and onto the sidewalk. She didn’t even glance back as she ran down the street and around the corner to her flat, leaving the Doctor alone with still moaning Billy and Mikey.

When she was out of sight the Doctor sighed deeply and went to have a chat with his newly incapacitated friends. 

OoOoOoOo

Back in her flat, Rose scrawled a note on an old receipt and stuck it to the front door. Then she went into her room, closed and locked the door and then into her en-suite. Her image in the mirror was rough at best. First off, she had a bleeding wound on her cheekbone. On further inspection though, it was just a scrape. No stitches needed. Otherwise she just looked rumpled. Her mascara ran, and she was dirty, but beyond that it was OK. She also had a bump on the back of her head that she winced when she touched. She’s been is worse scrapes; some being in the last few weeks. This was nothing. She had just figured it was part and parcel to working at a dive bar. 

Her left arm ached horribly though. It was so fragile since that retched worm. It bruised easily and besides being painful all the time, got exponentially more so if it was injured. She turned on the shower and shed her clothes. The water stung her cheek but worked in washing some of the pain away, at least the physical pain. 

Then there was the Doctor, he brought an entirely new dimension of pain. It was all the emotional pain from him leaving her, having to find her way and trying, and not succeeding, to bury the loss of the man she once loved, only to have him pop again like nothing was wrong. Well it was wrong, the whole thing. 

He needed to leave. There was no question. There was no way she would go back. Not to be cast aside again. Nope, it was time to send him packing. The very next time he showed up she would do exactly that.  
OoOoOoOo

After taking care of the two blokes, who assured him that they were done bothering Rose, in fact done with any sort of criminal activity at all... ever, the Doctor made his way to her flat. He needed to see if she was alright. He knew he shouldn't but he had to. Maybe after the inevitable yelling and slapping he could help clean her up and heal her wounds. Then he wanted to get a look at that arm. He had a theory on how to repair the damage, but needed a closer look at what had happened before he would adjust his devices to help. 

There was something on the door when he arrived. It was a small note taped to the door. It simply said. "Leave me alone I'm fine. GO AWAY."

Instead of doing that, he leaned against the wall opposite her door and slid down to sit. If she wouldn’t let him in, at least he knew no new harm would come to her that night. 

At least he could do that.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

In the morning, while Rose was still asleep, the Doctor ran back to the TARDIS, which was now parked down the street in a parking garage. He had to move it from Jackie’s, mostly because it took up her whole living room, but also because whenever he went back there he was interrogated. 

He left to do some work in his lab as well as research. It was nice to not have to go all the way back to the estate. Hours later he returned, arms full with two grocery bags as well as something special in his pocket. He figured she must have gone for breakfast at some point because the note from last night was gone. He hoped she was up. It was afternoon so the chances of that were pretty good. 

He carefully set the bags down in front of the door like before, leaning over. He unconsciously groaned when he straightened up, the action pulled on his wound. He hoped she hadn't heard. 

Apparently she had done just that, as the door came swinging open a second later before he could knock. There in the doorway stood a seething Rose Tyler. Her face was bright red. He was honestly surprised she didn't have smoke coming from her ears. "I thought I told you to leave me alone. Are you too thick to get that I don't want you here?" she said through clenched teeth. Her careful controlled volume was undermined by her eyes, which were hard, and angry. 

The Doctor looked at her warmly, trying anything to get her to back off a bit. "Rose, please, at least let me say my piece. You can do whatever you want with it and I will abide by that."

To his amazement she stepped back. "Fine, whatever I have to do to get rid of you. You have ten minutes."

The Doctor smiled, picked up the groceries, carefully hiding his face so she wouldn't see when it hurt, and carried them into her kitchen, swiftly putting things away. He filled the kettle, noticed that it was dirty, cleaned it and filled it again. Then he put it on the stove to boil. When it was done he made tea for them both, grabbed newly purchased biscuits and went in the living room. 

He found Rose perched at the very end of the couch, eyes on him. She probably had been watching him the whole time. He held out the biscuits to her but she didn't move to take one. She did however take the tea, but set it on the floor in front of her. The Doctor took the place on the couch opposite her, though he sorely wanted to sit right next to her. Instead he put the biscuits in between them.

Rose looked at him again. "You're down to three minutes."

"Wait, that's no fair, I was making tea. Isn't that grounds for a timeout?"

"No. Please get on with it. I have things to do before work."

Frustrated, the Doctor took a deep breath then a sip of tea then another deep breath. It was nearly impossible to try to explain himself to anyone who so openly hated him. Her feelings were clear. Maybe she was right, maybe he should just go. He had some things to do first though, at least to try to set things right. 

"Ok first things first. I apologize for leaving you. I wasn’t given a choice in the matter. Tihuan had set in motion an attack that was going to kill everyone. After the worm infused arrows, he came at them with blades that were treated with special chemicals, that’s what got me. After that there was some sort of bomb. I had dragged myself into the TARDIS by then.” 

He was careful to look into her eyes when he said the next part. “They're all gone, Rose. I tried everything I had, but that man's a monster. I couldn’t stop him. All I wanted to do was get him to negotiate, but he didn't care. He wanted to show his power. It kills me to think of all those people. Of course the townspeople put up a good fight. Some of Tihuan's men went down too. But he killed the people mostly for sport. He wanted to punish them initially, but I think he liked it and just kept going. The land there is just devastation now. The trees are burned, the houses are crumbled. After the bodies are carried off there will be nothing there. He wiped them off the planet. It will be like they never existed. I imagine some people were able to run away, but there is no way to tell. And if there are survivors, there aren’t many." 

He sighed heavily, trying to see a glimmer of anything in Rose’s eyes. If anything they had widened a little, but her face hadn’t softened. "If I didn't send you back, you would have been killed too. That worm, it couldn't survive outside of their atmosphere. That's why it died here. But the damage it did to you wasn't its intended purpose. Normally it goes for the brain and has a buffet until the host is dead. It must have been turned around with your human biology. It was much faster on the people in the village. But once you were infected with it, I knew I couldn't lose you. I had to send you back."

Rose just sat there, hands clasped in her lap. She was looking at him though he couldn't read her face. After what could easily been a millennia she spoke, "After you had the TARDIS drop me I was really bad off. I kept thinking you would be right back. I didn't leave the flat for months. Mum and I started to fight. Then she kicked me out." Though her statement was short it carried a lot of weight in its simplicity. He felt his hearts quicken, feeling her sadness and anger though she did not show it. The words were enough. 

He leaned closer, trying to convey in his eyes just how he felt. At least now she was looking at him. His voice was low now, almost a whisper. "I'm so sorry. If I could have done it any other way I would have." 

Rose took a shuttering breath. "Birthdays, Christmases, they all passed, with me thinking that you would show up. With every new thing that came and went, it hurt more. I hated you more with every day. At one point I thought we had something, we were…" She stopped, slowly shaking her head. Her voice had grown dull her eyes glazed over, like she could see back to that time. 

The Doctor moved the biscuits and scooted up next to her. She didn't even react. "Please Rose; I need to make this right. I can't bear seeing you like this."

"I don’t want anything from you."

He sighed again softly then drew something out of his jacket pocket. "Ok I get it. But do me one favor, let me see your arm. Let me just do one thing. If it doesn't work, I'll leave. If it does work I can leave too your choice."

Rose, still clearly lost in her own thoughts, pulled her left arm over in his direction with her right. It rested on the cushion next to him. She seemed to think better of it and tugged on the cuff of her sleeve, pulling her arm out and then taking off the whole shirt, leaving herself in a vest top. His eyes traveled up the effected arm. It was easily half the size of its mate with dark black streaks in seemingly random pattern going from shoulder to hand. He swallowed. If the worm had made those tracks under her skin it was no wonder the arm didn’t work properly. 

The Doctor schooled his features carefully, not wanting her to see how he felt about her injury. He produced a little tube of ointment which she eyed warily. 

"This should neutralize any remaining toxins hanging around in there." He squeezed out good bit of the bright blue ointment onto his finger and carefully rubbed on her arm; taking great care to be sure he only got it on the black lines. Rose winced in anticipation of pain and when it didn’t happen, relaxed. 

He had just finished rubbing it on when Rose jumped. “Oh it tingles!” she exclaimed. Then she fell silent, staring at her arm. After another minute of tense silence between them, she looked at him in shock. "The pain, that dull nagging pain that has been there forever, it's gone.” For the first time since he had laid eyes on her in days, her eyes shone with a familiar light. Her mouth almost quirked up into a smile for just a second, and then it was gone. He saw it though, a little glimmer of what used to be Rose. 

He smiled hugely at her, crinkling his eyes. “See? I’m not all bad,..” he said. As soon as he did, her face fell, becoming stony again. He tried to rally. “The pain will most likely come back in a few hours. I will need to reapply the ointment periodically.”

“Just give it to me, I’ll put it on.” She held out her hand. 

“No, it’s… toxic to you if absorbed anywhere else. It needs to go precisely on the black streaks. If it gets on you anywhere else it will burn you. You won’t be able to get it on without help.”

She eyed him. He looked sincere, and it was a little difficult even for him to get to all the areas on the back of her arm. 

“Fine.” she said. 

“Brilliant!” he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. He quickly forced himself to relax though. “I’ll um, be here just before you go to work. Is that OK?”

“Fine.” she repeated. 

The Doctor stalled for a moment. He at least hoped she would share a little of his excitement. She sat there though, now massaging her hand like it was new. 

He picked up his mug and rinsed it in the sink before heading for the door. “OK then, I’ll see you later.”

“Doctor?” 

He turned, hand resting on the door knob. “Yes Rose?”

“Will the stuff hurt me now? Can I touch my arm?”

His eyes drooped just a little and she noticed it. “No, you’re fine now. It absorbs immediately. You can even shower.” She shot him a hopeful look, but no discernable smile. 

With that he opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind him. He had hoped for a little more from her. Anything, to give a little hope that the tides may be turning, but there was nothing. When she called his name it was like music. His hearts had thudded heavily as he turned to face her. He couldn’t blame her though. Now at least he knew just how much work was to be done.

OoOoOoOoOo

Two hours later the Doctor knocked lightly on Rose's flat door. As he waited for her to answer, he thought he heard something. He got a little closer and listened. Sure enough, there was music playing. He had never heard anything like that in her flat before. Seconds later he jumped back when she opened the door. 

"Hi! I'm here for your next dose." He shook the tube in the air. 

"Come in,.." she said, turning for the couch. Her steps were lighter, though didn’t seem happy overall. Her face wasn't as hard though, but it was far from a cheerful greeting. 

Baby steps... he thought to himself.

Then upon making it into the room he took in a breath. He smelled something. Food? Had she been cooking? It smelled like grilled cheese. A quick glance to the sink confirmed dishes in it including a frying pan. This warmed him considerably. First she was cooking, something she clearly never did. Then she was also cooking the food he brought her. It was another step.

Rose sat on the couch looking at him hopefully. Suddenly remembering what he was there for, he stepped quickly to her and sat close. 

Rose didn't seem to get uncomfortable with his proximity and he immediately took that as a positive. She spoke suddenly, "I took a kip and when I woke up it was hurting again. Does that mean it's not going to get better, or that this stuff is just a temporary fix?"

Her saddened eyes met his and it took everything he had not to draw her into a tight hug, but he thought it would be too much. Instead he gently set his hand on her injured arm. She didn't pull away. "It has a lot of ground to make up. Then we need to do something to deal with the tissue damage. It's going to be a process. It'll work, I promise."

She relaxed a little. 

He was surprised to hear her talk again. "What about you... your stomach. Is it any better? "

"Better and better each day. I'll take it. It has a ways to go like you but I see a difference every day," he enthused. He face softened, but she didn't say anything else. She was asking about him, and that was good, it hadn't happened in a long time. 

He took the opportunity to move a little closer and start to apply the ointment again. This time when he was done he blew on it lightly. 

"Oh!" she exclaimed, a little smile gracing her lips briefly. "What was that?"

"I just activated it a little. I'm hoping it will last longer. I'll need to put it on before you go to bed though. Um, did I just see a little smile?"

Rose vividly remembered the exchange in the TARDIS right after he regenerated, but was not willing to go there. He actually saw her walls go back up. Her eyes dulled and face dropped its shine. 

She stood quickly, putting distance between them, not looking at him. "I need to go to work."

The Doctor frowned. One step forward and two back. He squeezed his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could hear her moving swiftly around him, gathering things. 

He took a chance. "Can I walk you Rose?"

"No. " When he looked up she was already at the door. She looked back at him, almost sadly, and stepped out. "Please lock it when you leave." With that she was gone. 

The Doctor sat back hard on the couch. This was agonizing. There was no wiggle room. If he even made the slightest miss-step she closed right back up. How could he have done this to his sweet Rose? They had been closer than ever before all this. Did she even remember kissing him? That was something else the hurt him. He had left it with a "to be continued" but had no plan. He had been content to see what would grow from that. She seemed to be the same way. She certainly enjoyed her part of it. 

But then again two years was a long time. Two years of hurting physically and mentally would take their toll. That was on him. He knew it too. So this would be the dance. It would have to be intricately choreographed. He would do it though, if it meant getting Rose back. He stood, went into the kitchen and cleaned all the dishes, took stock of what she had in the kitchen and left, taking care to lock the door behind him. 

OoOoOoOo  
Rose walked quickly down the street towards the bar. Her last exchange with the Doctor had set her off kilter. She had been so set on getting him out of her life, but now he had to be there. She wiggled her fingers. Whatever he was doing was helpful. The pain had always been there since the worm came out. It never went away. She had tried with pain killers and even alcohol. Nothing dulled it. It was a constant reminder of a life she left, or that left her, rather. It was nearly impossible to see anything positive with constant pain. It only took a day or so for her mood to sour. Then it stayed. The bar patrons didn’t seem to mind though, they thought she was just sassy and as long as they had their drinks they were happy. But Rose had just suffered alone in silence. 

But now, now she suddenly felt like she could breathe again. The sky was darkening as she walked on. She bent her bad arm moved it into the pocket of her hoody. It rested there a lot. It was a good way to keep it out of the way. The warmth felt good like usual. But this time something was different. First she had moved the arm by itself, not lifting it, and next, when she got it there it actually felt good. 

As she approached the bar she did something she hadn't done in just short of two years. She looked up at the night sky and the first shining stars, and then turned and opened the door to the bar.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Here is a whopper of a chapter. It covers a lot of ground too. I hope you are enjoying the story. If you are, let me know. It’s nice to hear from you. I try to answer all my reviews. Without further ado, here’s chapter 6.

Chapter 6

The Doctor would not have known but Rose had a great night at work. Instead of being cranky as usual, she unconsciously was more fun and flirty. When an entire football team landed there about 9:00 she found herself right in the middle of them setting up a karaoke machine. Another positive was that she ended the night with more tips than she ever had and a few phone numbers to boot. That had never happened before. 

Milo noticed it too. He stopped her as she balanced a tray of dirty glasses on her right hand while holding onto one mug with her left. He glanced down at her left arm. "Rose love, what has gotten into you tonight? I've never seen you so happy before. I there something I should know?"

She set the mug down in the sink. "No, not really, I just suppose I feel better. My arm's better."

"I noticed. But you seem brighter today. And you haven't yelled at anyone all night." Rose blushed, though it was clear that she wasn't going to elaborate, so Milo started again. "But if your arm is better, be careful not to overdo it. Take it slow."

"I know, but I love using it again, at least for little things. It still acts like a limp noodle though."

Milo took her arm in his hands and massaged it up and down. His touch was OK with her, as he was a very hands-on friend. He had even kissed her cheek within hours of meeting her. Back then things were bad. Rose barely spoke and when she did she didn't have kind things to say. It was perfect for a bar frequented by alcoholics. No one really cared. Milo had taken to her quickly though, being protective from the very start. One night after she had to clean him up after a particularly bad mix up, she asked him why he cared about her. He simply answered, "I like to pick up strays. You have a good soul, Rose, I can tell. Something hurt you. I don't care what it was, but I want you to know that nothing will ever hurt you around me." From that moment they became best friends. 

Milo's massaging seemed to help with the circulation even though she had her sleeve pulled down. He had actually never seen her arm in all its black streaked glory. It would have been too much to explain. 

As the night wore on, Rose's arm became more tired and sore. Soon she found that tucking it into the front pocket of her hoody relaxed it. It was going to be a long process getting it back to working condition. But at least she was on the road. Not having nagging pain all the time also did wonders for her attitude. Immediately she felt like she had more patience with the bar patrons. That led to more ale flowing, and again better tips. All in all it was a good night. 

After closing, Milo and Rose walked out together, laughing about something. When she stepped on the sidewalk, she was met with the tall lanky figure standing in the shadows, eyeing her with warm brown eyes. Instinctively Milo stepped in front of her. 

"Hey mate, I think Rose here made it clear that she wanted you gone."

The Doctor cast his gaze to Rose, who was now gently setting her hand on Milo's shoulder. "It's OK Milo. He's not going to hurt me."

Milo looked between the two of them, making way for Rose to get around him. 

As she got in front of him, she turned and hugged him, whispering in his ear, "Don't worry, he's fine. I'm in no danger."

Milo kissed her cheek and shot a heated warning glare to the Doctor, who visibly shuttered and took a step back. "OK, if you say so Rose." He intensified his glare. "But if he does ANYTHING or you need me, call. You know how fast I can be there."

Rose put her hand on his chest and kissed him on the cheek. He had actually never been to her flat, but she thought that it just worsened the threat. It had its intended effect on the Doctor though. 

Milo put his hand on Rose's shoulder before turning and heading away. 

When Milo was a respectable distance down the walk, the Doctor stepped up again. He didn't say anything, though he had volumes on his lips. He still was in the beginning stages of her accepting him back into her life and he didn't want his gob to spoil anything. Instead he lightly jerked his head in the direction of her flat and she wordlessly nodded. He took that as an invitation to walk her home. 

They didn't talk on the way, but he noticed that she didn't spark up a cigarette. For that he was grateful. It just didn’t seem like her to be doing that and he figured that he knew her quite well, or at least he used to. 

OoOoOoOo

Once arriving, Rose took her seat on the couch, removing her hoodie. The Doctor had a seat next to her and went about carefully spreading on the ointment. She looked tired but relaxed, and they hadn't exchanged any words. Even though she hadn't been openly hostile to him, he took the silence to mean she was not keen on having him close, at least not now. 

He admittedly was not very good at non-verbal communication. Rose's silence did not feel caustic by any means, but having her quiet was rather unsettling. When he was done he stood, capping the tube and turning to her. 

She looked up wide eyed, and suddenly he wasn't sure what he had done wrong. "Aren't you gonna blow in it Doctor?" she asked, her voice taking an almost child-like quality. 

He hadn't even thought of it. Now he felt bad at not doing it. "Oh I forgot. Sorry I just thought you wanted me to go... so I was doing... that." He shut his mouth with a snap, but hurriedly sat next to her, took her arm in his and blew lightly up the tracks where he had put the ointment. Rose sank into the couch and sighed. 

When she spoke her voice was calm, almost dreamy. "It feels so good. I actually used it at work today too. It's very weak, but didn't hurt until the very end. Milo said he thought I was in a better mood. It's a wonder how better you feel when you don't hurt all the time. I made great tips tonight too."

The Doctor was taken aback by her sudden talkativeness. It must have showed on his face too. 

Rose took her arm from him and rested it on her knee. "Thanks for taking care of me. It's good to have my arm back. Or at least have no pain."

He felt like he had to say something, anything. "I'm glad to help. Hurting is exhausting and it can make you be in a foul mood all the time. I'm happy it’s working for you. So I’ll just..." He stood again. "I'll see you in the morning?"

Rose nodded, but looked a little lost, as if she wanted to say something. Instead she said, "Good night Doctor, I'll see you then.” 

He nodded curtly and made for the door. Again he thought she was going to say something, he even heard her breathe in, but nothing came. But it was progress. Anything was better than a guarded Rose. They would get there. Before he closed the door behind him, he turned and gave her a little wave, which she didn't return, but rather shifted, in her seat giving him an open look. It wasn't a sneer, and it wasn't a smile, but maybe something in between. 

OoOoOoOo

Shortly after he left, the Doctor sat on a cot in the med-bay examining his wound. He had lied, it was not better, just carefully controlled. He had thought he was making progress. But no, he had to keep it packed just right to keep it from weeping. He bled from time to time, and burned on and off, almost as if something periodically triggered the burning agent, and it was still very much open. He had taken to wearing something very similar to a girdle to keep the dressings in place. Rose hadn't picked up on it, but he limited his movements very carefully. Everything was measured to create the least amount of pain and damage. 

He could truly sympathize with Rose now. He knew what it was like to hurt all the time. But he had to be so controlled around her, right when his temper was so close to the surface. He took out his anger and frustration on the TARDIS, which he quickly found out, was not the best option. Now he had to do repairs and the TARDIS was mad at him. This morning when he went to lift his tea cup before going over to Rose's only to find that the bottom had been removed. He had yelled loudly and cursed in 15 languages before he recovered and went to change his suit. 

The more he looked at it, the more he came to realize that he needed to go back to Xalta 5. He needed to get ahold of whatever hellish creation Tihuan had ordered the weapons to be laced with. He had to be able to come up with something to treat it with. He couldn't live like this. Plus his patience with the pain was wearing thin. With having to endure it all the time and having to carefully school everything with Rose, he was tired. He desperately needed to get Rose better so he could get better. It was time to speed things up with her if possible, if for nothing else to keep him from finally losing it and risk losing her forever. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose stirred in her sleep, cracking an eye open at the sunlight streaming in through the window. She groaned and rolled over, checking her alarm clock. It was almost noon. Her alarm would be going off soon. 

She stretched, not noticing at first that she had put both arms together above her head when she did. When she realized it, she smiled. That was the first time she had put her arm above her head in probably years. But now that it was up there on the pillow she couldn't get it back down. She giggled to herself and took it in her right hand, settling it on her stomach. 

Just then she heard something. She stiffened, there was something moving in her living room. She hadn't locked the bedroom door last night, she realized in a panic. Carefully she slid from the bed and went to turn the lock when she smelled something. Bacon? Oh yeah that was the distinctive smell of bacon. Putting her head to the door she heard more. It was pans moving around, and more smells came through, fresh coffee? Now she was intrigued. She very slowly turned the doorknob and peeked out. 

The Doctor, with his superior hearing, must have heard her, because he turned, a wide smile on his face. "Good morning Rose or maybe good afternoon would be better since it's nearly noon. Anyway, I was hungry back at the TARDIS and figured I should share so I made us breakfast. I hope that's OK."

Rose stood in the doorway, stunned. He had been so careful before and now he seemed so forward. She wasn't entirely sure she was comfortable with it. It had been hard maintaining her barriers, mostly because he was treating her arm. But they were there for a reason. 

But then again what could be the harm in having a little breakfast? Just then the timer on the oven dinged. She had a timer? She had no idea. 

He brightened again at the sound. "Oh boy perfect timing. Cinnamon roll?" he asked, opening the door and retrieving golden brown rolls. 

In spite of herself Rose did something for him that she never thought she would do again. She smiled at him. And he smiled back brilliantly, noticing the event but not saying a word so he wouldn’t scare it off. 

OoOoOoOo

Breakfast was delightfully lighthearted. Rose wasn't overly talkative, but wasn't shut down either. One more thing, her smile didn't go away. It reappeared a few times throughout the morning. First when he talked about the satsumas he had seen at the store and reminded her about his superior aim with them. Then again when he told her a story about a particular time in his 7th incarnation when he actually had a conversation with a rock, a sentient one, but a rock none the less. 

She even seemed interested in him. "So where have you put the TARDIS? I can't imagine you have it at my mum's this whole time."

He laughed. "No I had to move her. Your mother was opposed to the amount of space she took, but more than that, I couldn't take the third degree every time I came back. Your mother should have been in the MI5, she's truly skilled in the interrogative arts. Anyway, I parked her in the back corner of a little two story car park about a block away from here."

Rose laughed back then fixed a warm smile on him. Seeing her here like this made his hearts sing. 

The last time he saw a smile that morning was when he treated her arm, and of course blew on it. This time he blew a little harder, a little worried that the accompanying sensation would be too much. He had been rewarded greatly though. For the first time, all day, her smile reached her eyes. That was all he needed. 

That was, until he fell. 

After treating her they had chatted a while longer before he tried to broach the subject of moving on. Time was passing and he realized that she might have things to do, so he went for it. "So, Rose, you're coming along nicely and all, but it’s about time to take the next step in your treatment. I think if we can get you back to the TARDIS we can-"

She cut him off. "I'm not ready to go back there. Not yet." 

Her statement was not delivered dripping with emotion or with anything but a neutral tone. It was just a statement. But it was enough to force him to his feet, his thinly veiled pain shooting to the surface. The moment he stood he felt an instant tug deep in his wound, causing him to pitch forward, trip over his own feet and land painfully on the floor with a thud. He could immediately feel the warm wetness spread under his dressings. Panic clicked on. Rose couldn’t see what was happening to him. It wasn't good and would most surely scare her. 

"Doctor, are you alright?" She was now next to him on the floor, hands on him. 

"I'm fine!" he snapped in a tone he desperately didn't want to use. It was too late though. Rose's hands were lifted and she had backed off him in a second. He pushed himself to his feet, one arm wrapped around his body. It felt like his organs would spill out if he didn't. He looked up at Rose, who was eyeing him from across the room, her face now stony. In the seconds that this had happened in, it was more than clear what had transpired. She was gone again. Her jaw was set, eyes fixed. She looked ready for a fight. By losing his temper just that little bit, she had reset to the Rose he had days ago. 

"I'm sorry..." he started, not quite sure were to go from there. He tried to look warm and nice, but only succeeded in looking desperate. 

"You lied to me, you're not better," she stated dully. 

He hung his head. "I'm not." 

"So you expect me to follow you back to the TARDIS when you can't even be honest about what's happening. Wasn't that what got us into this mess, you not being truthful or straightforward with me?"

The hand he had wrapped around his body started to register a sticky feeling. He was seeping through. He shifted. "Rose OK, I'll be completely honest. I need you. I need your help. I'm not getting better. I don't know what else I can do. I need you to come with me."

"Then what happens?" She didn't look her usual self when asking. Most times her thumb would have migrated to her mouth, but not this time. She stood, sure of herself arms at her sides. 

"Then I get better and we…go...places."

"And I just suppose I have to trust that you won't leave me again."

"You know I didn't do that on purpose. You mean everything to me and..."

"Just stop. Whatever you say, whatever you try to do, the fact remains that two years of hurting stand between you and I. I gave up hope, alienated my own mother and lived an anything but fantastic life."

He was losing his resolve. It was increasingly hard to stand there, let alone maintain any decorum. "I told you I was sorry. I can't say it any more. You aren't listening. I have to go now or I will bleed on your floor. Please consider my offer, I can finish with your arm if you come to the TARDIS and come with me. It's our decision." With that he limped to the door, opened it and stepped out. He would be lucky if he made it back to the TARDIS.

Inside the flat, Rose stood, staring at the now closed front door. More accurately she was burning holes in it with her eyes. How dare he give her an ultimatum? He was the one that left her hurt and alone. There was something though, something wrong. Why was he not getting any better? Before he turned to go she could see a dark tinge to his shirt. 

She mentally reached down to test the anger that had been on the surface for so long, but it wasn't there, only sadness remained. Was this really the end? Now that he had helped her, was he going for good? There was no way she would just run back into the TARDIS. Not now, not before they could resolve some things. 

Then again, he hadn't left her for good, or at least that's what he said. He hadn't been malicious or used it as punishment or because he thought she couldn't handle something. He had sent her back so she could live. It's just the fact that this happened now that was the sticking point. In the two years she was on her own a lot happened, more than a lot. No matter how much he apologized, the pain of the last two years remained. He couldn't help that. It was like a chasm. Nothing could make the fact that it happened go away. They might be able to move past it, but it was still there. He couldn’t just erase it. 

But now he needed help. This thing was killing him, she was sure, even though he didn't want her to know. It just felt like there was so much ground to cover. She still hadn't healed her relationship with her mother, which would take time too. Rose flopped back on the couch. This was not an easy decision, not like the first one. Plus no matter the reason, she didn't know if she could handle being left again. This one nearly tore her heart out. She knew it was partially, well mostly, due to the pain, but still it hurt to be left. 

 

Rose pulled out her phone and checked the time. She had a little time before work, but didn't even know where to start looking for the TARDIS, that's if she wanted to. Then it occurred to her, he hadn't mentioned coming back for another treatment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you for the lovely comments. They really do make one feel much more comfortable with putting myself out there. Today we move a little further, decisions are made, and you may not like all of them, at least initially.

Chapter 7  
Several hours later, with still no word from the Doctor, Rose left for work. It was a dreary day with on and off rain. It was a perfect match for Rose's now souring mood. She had spent the whole time he wasn't with her thinking. She wasn't the young girl now that would go swanning off in search of action and adventure like before. She had grown in her time with him. Now she could hold her own and had proven it time and again. If he wanted her back they had to lay some ground rules. More than anything, he needed to communicate. Without it she would never feel comfortable with him. She needed to know just how bad things were even if he didn't want to tell her. It would save themselves and hopefully their relationship. 

She pulled her sweatshirt hood over her head as a drizzle began to fall. As she quickened her pace she caught sight of a young couple sharing an umbrella, giggling. They stopped at a bus stop, hugged then began a passionate snog. Rose averted her gaze and broke into a jog, telling herself she was getting out of the rain, but she knew why. She couldn't stand to see them. Memories of kissing the Doctor in the wardrobe room came flooding back. It was two years ago, but it was a vivid as the day it happened. 

The rain started to come faster, but it only helped Rose hide the tears now streaming down her face. She hadn’t cried about him in a long time. She had resolved to be done with it shortly after moving out of her mum's. But she realized as she was opening the door to the bar that she wasn't crying because of what happened to her, it was because what happened to them. They had just barely started, he had even given her a 'to be continued'. That part never came though. Now her bitterness was causing a wedge that threatened to end it all. 

He hadn't meant for this to happen, and he came back to her. Now that her vision wasn't clouded by pain, it was clear. But they needed to straighten things out. They couldn't just start up like nothing had happened. 

Now she just had to see if he would come back. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose's shift at the bar was agonizingly slow. She somehow managed to keep her happy affect for the customers and in turn had a good night, all the while watching the door on the off chance that he may show up. 

At closing time with still no sight of him, Rose felt decidedly less chipper. Milo helped close up the place and outside she found herself giving him a longer than usual hug. "What's that for love?" he asked. 

"Oh nothing, I guess you just never know what life will throw at you. I just want you to know I appreciate you."

"And I you." he countered, kissing her on the cheek. "You want me to walk you?"

"No thanks, I'll see you later." The rain had stopped at least temporarily, and Rose walked swiftly home. In the course of all the hours without treatment, her arm had started to ache again. She figured it was because she now used it but really could use some help from the Doctor. 

Then as she passed an alleyway, there he was. He stepped out and she gasped a little. Though she had been anticipating his appearance he still startled her. "Oh!" she exclaimed. He stood there with a decidedly more stiff posture than he had had even earlier that day. He looked pained both emotionally and physically. 

"Hello, may I walk you?" he asked. His words were a little more clipped than usual, but he managed a light smile, even though his eyes did not agree. 

"Sure," she answered. Then she did something she hadn't thought she would ever do, she held out her hand to him.

He looked at it for a few moments as if not sure it was really there. Just as she was about to pull it back, his hand shot out and took it. 

The feel of his cold skin in hers brought back floods of memories both good and bad. Lazily he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as they walked in silence. Something in Rose clicked. It just felt right to be hand in hand with this man. It was like the missing piece that she had been searching for ever since she was here. 

They must have both been lost in their own thoughts because neither noticed a dark figure in the shadows up ahead. As they passed, he jumped out. The light of a streetlight glinting off the large blade he held out in front of him. 

OoOoOoOo  
The man was small in stature, but what he was missing in size he made up in attitude. "Oi! You two give me your wallets." He said. He had long greasy hair and was missing several teeth. His face was covered in deep pock marks, and had a pale sunken appearance. This was no man to trifle with. His eyes twitched around as he stared menacingly at them. 

The Doctor stepped in front of Rose. "OK, just relax mate. We don't have any money. But I can help you. Just put down the knife." His words were measured and even. Rose recognized his standard negotiation tone. At the same time she realized he was in front of her. Oh no, not again. Rose pushed to his side. He once again went to hold her back but she dodged, catching the man's eye. 

Rose held out her mobile. "Here, I don't have money but you can have this. Just let us go." 

It was instantly clear that the man had no such plans. He lunged at Rose, who jumped back. The Doctor grabbed him round the neck with his arm, only to be elbowed soundly in the abdomen. 

With an, "Oof!" the Doctor fell back onto the ground. Before he knew it, the man was back after him, landing a hard kick to the same spot. As he wound up for a kick to the Doctor’s head, Rose came from behind and elbowed him in the back of the head, causing him to pitch forward and drop his knife. He rounded on her but before he could do anything, she kicked him directly in the groin. He wailed and fell to the ground, striking his head on the pavement. Then he was silent. He was knocked out. 

Rose ran to the Doctor who was clutching his abdomen and not moving. "Doctor, are you alright?"

A low groan emitted from his lips. She went to help him, gripping his shoulder, but he shook her off. As she stepped back he staggered to his feet. He raised his head to look at her. His face was tight, screwed up in pain and his eyes were like steel. "We have to go, you have to help me now," he ground out through gritted teeth. 

"Now? You mean I have to go with you right now? Doctor I... I told you. I'm not ready yet. I have some things I have to do..."

The Doctor growled. "Rose I don't have time to waste any more. You're in or you're out. I don't have time to negotiate." His face had lost all traces of softness. He was hurting and she knew it. 

Rose stalled. She knew the gravity of the situation. But here was still a lot in the way. The chasm in her soul was far from even bridged. She fixed her sad eyes on him, not sure where to go from there. 

"I'll take your silence as your answer." he said, anger dropping from his voice. All that was left was a sadness that matched hers. "Have that fantastic life you wanted, OK?" Without waiting for an answer he turned, stepped around the assailant, still on the ground and walked unsteadily away. He even put his arm out to get stability from the walls of the buildings as he walked. 

Rose watched him go, silent tears falling. He was gone again, but this had been her choice. For once she was totally in control. She opened her mobile and called 999 to report the man, didn't give her name, and swiftly left for her flat. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose's thoughts raced for the whole time she was jogging to her place. What was she doing? He needed her. But she had needed him too, and he wasn't there. She just kept coming back to that time and again. He wasn't there when she needed him to be. She had suffered for two years, in pain, feeling abandoned and yet he never came. And then he did. She entered her building as the sirens of the police wailed, responding to her call. 

As she reached for her doorknob, she stopped. He needed her, he needed her now. He hadn't been there when she needed him, but had come back. He had tried to fix her, but he was broken too. 

Rose rested her hand on the knob, then turned and ran out of the building. 

OoOoOoOo

Finding the car park wasn't too difficult, but finding the right corner with the perception filtered TARDIS was something else entirely. 

Rose was running at full speed throughout the place. She didn't find it at first on the ground floor and panicked, thinking he had already left. She bolted up the stairs to the second floor and started searching again. Something caught her eye in the farthest corner. She concentrated hard on the area and it swam into view, the TARDIS. 

Rose whooped and sprinted to it. As she rounded the last car in the way she almost tripped over the figure in the brown suit slumped by the door. "Oh Doctor!" she landed on her knees beside him. "I’ve got you."

He slowly raised his head to see her. "You came," he croaked.

"Of course," she said, helping him to the door. 

 

OoOoOoOo

Rose dragged the Doctor in, he was trying but he was really weak. She got him up the ramp and to the jump seat where she set him. When she stepped back he was staring at her. 

"What?" she asked, waiting for some sort of directions for helping him. 

"I thought you weren't coming."

"I almost didn't. We have a lot to work through before I'm ready to be with you again." Her face reddened noticeably and she looked away for a second. "But here and now you need me. We'll work out the details later, but don't think you can get out of that."

"How can you be there for me when I wasn't for you?"

"Simple. I understand now. You didn't intend on leaving me for so long. I know you would have helped me if you could have. I was bitter and I know it, but now that I feel better I can see why I was so bad off. Hurting can change a person."

"I'm beginning to see that," he half-growled, adjusting himself on the bench seat. 

"So shall we go take care of this so we can get back to... whatever?" she asked, smiling determinately.

"Allons-y!" he whispered. 

OoOoOoOo

For the next few minutes the Doctor called out directions while Rose ran around the console. Periodically he stood and braced himself to perform a few actions. Even though Rose had seen him do it hundreds of times, she never really knew how complicated it could be. Finally the TARDIS landed with a thump. She held on tight, looking to be sure he hadn’t been injured. He had perched himself on the seat just in time and now smiled back at her. 

"Ok Rose, we've landed about 30 minutes after I left. I'm going to warn you, there are going to be bodies all over the place. Please try to not look and keep focused. I only need a blade. I know there are some on the ground because some of the soldiers fell too. So just get one, but don't pick it up by the blade. In fact..." he said, fishing in his coat pocket, "oh here, wear these rubber gloves. You should be safe for the most part. The fighting's... well over. Just get back here as soon as you can."

Throughout the explanation Rose nodded, then took and put on the gloves. She stood there awkwardly when she was ready. This would have normally been the time for a good luck hug, but they hadn't gotten that far yet. Rose would have been OK with it, but it looked like the Doctor wasn’t sure if he could do it yet. Plus the pain he was only partially masking made it difficult to seem like she should touch him. Instead the Doctor got back to his feet, rather unsteadily, and joined her. He placed his arm on hers. "Good luck, come back quickly. There is nothing else we can do there. Not now. I'll think of something to stop Tihuan. For now, just get back as quickly as possible."

Rose nodded and started off. She stopped a step away and turned suddenly, planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you in a minute."

"Not if I see you first." he muttered back with a smile, which Rose mirrored. With that he headed back to the seat and she out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we come to the end. Don’t worry though, there are miles yet to go. Thanks for reading and reviewing. This was fun to write and fun to explore the characters. I have an AU Nine/Rose in the pipeline that is nearly complete, so if you like this you may also like that. As you may have figured, I like to write angst. Oh and by the way… the lemonade was good!   
> Please review! See you soon!

Chapter 8

When Rose stepped outside she was nearly overwhelmed with the stench of smoke and, well death. There were bodies all over the place from both sides, but mostly the unarmed citizens. She gingerly stepped around the corpses, trying hard not to identify anyone. She kept her eyes just above the ground for fear of recognizing someone. 

After a minute she came across a soldier face down in the mud, not moving. He had a long blade just inches from his hand. Carefully Rose reached for it. As she plucked it from the ground she heard something. She crouched down behind him to listen. Someone was talking. She desperately looked around trying to see what it was, but more importantly trying to see if she could get away without being seen. 

There was another noise and Rose zeroed in on it. About 100 meteres away was Tihuan, riding his tall horse-like creature. He was surveying the scene and... laughing? He was with another soldier and they were making their way across the battle field, laughing and talking. As they made their way, they made no effort to miss the bodies; they just rode right over them. Rose's anger rose instantly. She saw red. The man before her was solely responsible for her two years of pain. Had he not started this offensive she would not have been hit by the arrow. She would not have been dropped off and she wouldn't have been alone. Plus the Doctor would not have been gravely injured. She knew the Doctor hadn’t done this on purpose, but Tihuan did. It was all his fault. 

Rose looked around. She had not been seen yet, so she moved into the shade of a smoldering tree. There was no way he could get away with this. 

Back in the TARDIS the Doctor was yelling at the monitor. He could see what she was doing. "No no no no no no!" he yelled, taking a step towards the door. He had to stop her. He stumbled and caught himself against the console but crumpled to the floor. Realization set in; he didn’t have it in him to get to her. He couldn’t even crawl. His body depleted, he lay on the grating, watching in horror as Rose moved to the body of another warrior. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose inched closer to the downed soldier. He was unmoving and on his side. When she got to him, she looked on his back and saw a quiver full of arrows. His bow lay just out of his reach, had he been able to reach out. She grabbed a handful of arrows and the bow and settled under a smoking tree. Tihuan was stationary, looking out at the carnage and talking to another mounted soldier. He was dressed for battle, but only wore a skull cap helmet with five shiny spikes on top. His arms were bare showing off bulging muscles. He wore a shining breast plate along with thick leather pants. He wore the uniform of a being that wanted the attention of his rank by wearing the breast plate and helmet, but wasn’t too worried about his safety as he did not wear the armor his soldiers did. 

From Rose’s vantage point, she could clearly see him and his counterpart but she was still in shadow. She examined the bow. It looked about the same as any one she had seen before. She had goofed around with the Doctor one time with them but never really learned much, as he had been quickly distracted. She picked it up to give it a test pull, straightening her left arm and pulling with her right. That was a bad idea. Searing pain shot through her bad arm causing her bite back a scream of pain. She would have to think of a better way. 

The dead soldier was much bigger than Rose he was well built on top of being big. His arm was bigger than her leg for sure. She was no match for his strength. The bow was built for someone much bigger and stronger than her even when she was healthy. Then Rose had an idea. She sat on the ground and stuck her feet on the bow itself. She then leaned back and took the string in her hands, pulling it back. It worked. She was able to pull with both hands and aim with her feet. It was ugly but effective. It was also helpful to still be wearing gloves. 

She reached for the quiver next and took out a few arrows. 

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor lay on the floor. "No Rose," he pleaded. "Just come back. He'll kill you." His last words were very quiet. He knew that it was no use. Saying it out loud didn't make it any better either. 

Rose nocked her first arrow and took aim at a nearby tree. When she let go the arrow soared away, but nowhere near on target. It would have been fine but it hit a rock and clattered down, drawing Tihuan's attention. 

He and the soldier he was talking with both turned in her direction. She felt mildly covered under the tree, but it was only a matter of time. Especially since both men started heading her way. 

She had to take a shot now, they were closing in. Her movement to set up again caught Tihuan's eye and he sneered. Rose lifted her feet and aimed, saying a silent prayer that the arrow would find its mark.

It didn't. It sailed off to Tihuan's right. He followed its trajectory with his eyes then looked back at her laughing. "Do you really expect that to work?" he yelled, voice booming in her ears. "Wait, I recognize you. How can that be? Don't you belong to that Doctor fellow? Has he let you escape again?" Again he laughed maliciously while still advancing. 

Rose could see the yellow in his eyes as she nocked her last arrow. Tihuan spoke again, "You really should leave the men to their business, little girl. You should go back to the Doctor where it's safe, not..." Rose let the arrow fly at that very moment. She held her breath as she watched it go. She gasped as it found its mark, grazing Tihuan's neck. He howled and slapped his heavily gloved hand to his neck as blood spurted through his fingers. Then a moment later his eyes grew huge and he slumped, falling to the ground, shaking violently. The worm had made quick work of him, much like it had the villagers. 

The soldier next to him stared down at Rose, but she lunged for the quiver. When she did she heard him turn tail and leave, his horse creature bounding away. 

Rose fell back in relief, breathing heavily. Then, slowly and painfully she stood went back to the blade she had left on the ground, then started walking back to the TARDIS. Each step she took was harder. She had no idea the Doctor had watched her, and could only think about what she would have to tell him. She had taken a life. She knew it was indirectly since the worm had done most of the work, but she had set it into motion. 

He had been so intent on getting her back. But also he always gave the bad people a choice. She hadn’t done that. In her anger she sought revenge on the man that had caused her pain without thinking. Now he lay dead at her hand. It was almost too much to handle. 

Rose trudged forward, dread weighing more and more with each footfall. When she reached the doors of the TARDIS she sighed heavily. It was time to face the music. If after all this he didn't want her to stay that would be his choice. She had come so far to accept him again, as limited as it was, she knew that rejection on his part now may kill her. 

Rose opened the door with her key, and looked up to find him sitting uncomfortably on the grating, intensely staring at her. His arm was wrapped tightly around his belly and he was breathing heavily, but his gaze never wavered. 

She walked in and hung her head. He knew. Neither of them talked as she helped him up and they made their way to the med bay, the Doctor only briefly slowing to send the TARDIS into the vortex. 

OoOoOoOoOo  
In the med bay, Rose helped the Doctor gingerly sit on the bed. She had had to hold him up much of the way, so she knew he needed her to do the work in analyzing the blade. She held up the blade in her still gloved hand, wordlessly asking for guidance. 

He nodded. "Take a sample by running a swab from the counter over the blade. Then rub the swab onto one of the slides in the second drawer. Then put the slide in the analyzer over there." He motioned weakly at a little silver machine sitting on the countertop to his right. 

Rose followed the directions without a word. She could feel him watching her but he didn't comment other than to explain how to put the slide in. After she did, she didn't turn around. But he didn't say anything so she figured that perhaps he was done with her. At least she knew now what he thought. 

The machine beeped much sooner than she anticipated, making her jump. She stepped out of the way so he could see the readout. He squinted from his place on the bed then his face lit up with recognition. "Oh wow, that's nasty," he muttered out loud, but not in her direction. 

He sat back, brow furrowed. His sharply taken breath made Rose jump again. He looked up at her but she couldn't read his face. "Rose, can you fetch the dermal regenerator for me? I think I know what setting to use. "

She nodded and retrieved the device. He took it from her and fiddled with it for a few minutes, using his sonic to make adjustments. Normally when he worked he did a running commentary of what he was doing or just about anything. Not this time though.

After about ten agonizing minutes of him fixing the device in his hands he held it out to her.   
"I need you to use this on my wound. Tihuan had a pretty horrible concoction on that blade. No wonder it didn't heal. It actually won't until we treat it. Ready?"

She nodded. The dermal regenerator was actually quite heavy and she struggled to hold onto it. She wasn't going to let him know though. No way, not now. 

He showed her how it worked and how to aim it, then unbuttoned his shirt and removed his soaked bindings, having to tear away the fabric he had to hold himself together. Rose winced when she saw the wound. It was actually worse than when she had seen it days earlier at her flat. It was darker in color and much bloodier. There also were elements of it that were more brown and grey. 

As she went to start he held up a hand. "I should warn you. This normally wouldn't be the case, but this will be very painful for me. I don't want you to stop, it will get better. Just try to ignore me."

Rose again nodded, looking into his eyes. He looked scared too, something she never saw in him. 

With a deep breath she started, and he began to scream.

OoOoOoo  
His screaming lasted roughly five minutes. Rose barely could do it. She would have stopped if he hadn't yelled at her to keep going between the wails in anguish. After that time his screams faded into whimpers then groans. Then he was quiet. 

Rose stepped back. The wound was healed, all that remained was a red streak across his abdomen. His breathing had gone from stifled gasps to slower, more even breaths. Rose set down the device on the counter and came back to look at him. He was drenched in sweat, though more relaxed, leaning back with his eyes closed. 

She made to leave when he suddenly spoke. "Thank you." His voice was merely a croak. 

"Welcome," she said. 

"Rose we need to talk,” he sighed,”but my body needs to shut down for a little while. I would call it a healing coma, but it's not that. More like a restorative kip. I'll come after you in about an hour. Is that ok?"

"That's fine." she answered, turning and hustling out of the room. 

The Doctor hung his head. There was still so much to do, and she was slipping away again. But he had to be himself again before he could fix it. He sincerely hoped he had time.

OoOoOoOoO

 

Rose soon found herself back in her old room. It was exactly the same as she had left it, unmade bed and all. 

She slowly walked around, touching the trinkets she had accumulated along the way. Each had a unique memory attached to it, some good, some not so much. She had collected each thing as a part of each adventure. Some things he had gotten her too. She ran her fingers over a glowing necklace he had insisted on getting her on a little market planet. She couldn't even remember the name of it. The jewelry was gorgeous, but she remembered how after wearing it for an hour it started to burn her. By the time they got back to the TARDIS he had had to use the dermal regenerator on her. 

Rose rummaged around in her closet until she came out with her ruck sack. Carefully she began filling it with some clothes, baubles and various pictures. This time if she was leaving she would at least have some of her favorite things. 

OoOoOoO

The Doctor woke with a start. He had been sleeping for 54 minutes when his body decided it was done. A quick look at his abdomen proved that to be true. He now did not bare any marks of a wound. He quickly took stock of the situation. He needed to put the final touches on healing Rose’s arm but then there was something he needed to do... He had forgotten about Tihuan. For the Doctor, a man who had the blood on his hands of millions, he couldn't bear the thought of her having any on hers. Not one drop. She did what she had to do. Her own demons held the reigns on that one. But he couldn't stand for her to feel the weight of this, not after her last two years of suffering. 

He jumped to his feet, grabbed the dermal regenerator and went to find Rose. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose was just about done packing up her things. There really wasn’t much to take. Clothes, shoes and a few trinkets were all she really needed. It wouldn't even been that heavy to carry even with her weakened arm.

She had just stuffed her last sock into her bag when there was a gentle knock on the door jamb. The Doctor stood in the doorway, staring at her. His face was difficult to read. 

"All better?" she asked, faking smile. 

"Yes," he answered, his eyes still on her full bag. He shook his head as if to shake off a thought. "I came to finish with your arm... and to find you."

Rose looked up at him and held out her arm. He awkwardly took it, but then thought better and motioned towards the bed. 

Rose sat down lightly and he took the spot next to her. Without explanation took the dermal generator and started to adjust it with the sonic. Then he took her arm, slid up her sleeve and began to treat it. Instantly she felt a warming on her skin that spread to deep inside the tissue. The treatment only took about three minutes. He clicked off the machine and let her arm down. 

"Go on then, move it around. Try it out."

Rose stretched it out, rotated it around. Flexing and bending was no longer painful. It also felt like the weakness had subsided." She smiled back at him. "Thank you."

"You should slowly build strength back over time. You will be back to normal before you know it."

They both sat in silence. Both of their sets of eyes drifted to the bag now abandoned by the door. 

The awkwardness of both of them gazing at it finally overwhelmed the Doctor. "So you're leaving." His head tilted down as if he wasn't sure he could look at her any more. 

"Yeah." 

"I thought... I don't know... I thought that we may... "

"What?"

"It's nothing, Rose."

"Finish what you were saying. Doctor. Please."

He took a deep breath and turned to her, grief written all over his face. "I thought we had something. I thought that once you got better you would stay with me. I thought that I got you back. But that isn't the case. It's always your choice to leave or to stay. I can't keep you here but I thought after all that, that you may want to travel with me again. I'm sorry that I misinterpreted that."

Rose’s eye widened. "What? I thought you needed me to go. I hadn't made up my mind entirely about staying. I mean, we still have a lot to talk about. But I thought after Tihuan you wouldn't be able to stand me being around. 

"Oh I'll always be able to stand you Rose Tyler." He gave her a warm grin.

"But I KILLED someone."

"Indeed you did, though indirectly. Technically you introduced something to his system that led to his death. It was something he had used to kill others though. And there would have been more. Lots more. Sure you did something that led to the death of one, but in doing so you saved many, many more."

"Like what you did?"

"No not like me. Mine's different and I can't be compared to you." He shook his head." You though, you are a hero."

"Not hardly."

"Oh yes. Now on the issue of you staying..."

Rose reached out and drew him into a tight hug. It felt so good to be in his arms again, so right. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed it in those two years. Before she knew it tears sprung to her eyes. She leaned back a little, still embracing him. "I'm staying. But don't think for a second we are done with this. I still have to mend fences with my mother and all kinds of things. You're not off the hook yet."

"In know, "he said into her shoulder, I'm never off the hook with you.” 

OoOoOoO

The TARDIS landed in Jackie's living room and Rose burst out seconds later to deliver a hug to her mother. Jackie instantly dissolved into tears. She looked up over Rose to the Doctor, who was leaning on the doorway. She mouthed "Thank you" to him and he nodded. 

Quietly he left the women to talk. He had work to do. 

OoOoOoOo

Two hours and 14 minutes later, Rose let herself back into the TARDIS. Her eyes were puffy from crying and all of her makeup had long since been wiped off. When she closed the door and turned back, her eyes met the Doctor, leaning up against the console, legs and arms crossed casually. He wore a familiar smirk. "So is everything OK?" he asked, eyeing her face. 

Rose sniffed. "Yeah we're good.”

"Are you good to leave though?" His features were soft, his eyes pulling her in.

"Yeah it’s all OK. Plus Mum had to leave anyway. She had a date."

He took in a rapid breath with a knowing grin. "Ok then, are you hungry? I can make something."

"Oh that would be wonderful. I'm famished. But can I freshen up first?"

"Of course you can, but please don't feel like you have to for me."

"I want to, but I'll not take long."

"Ok then Rose Tyler, I will come for you in exactly 30 minutes and we will have tea together."

With that the two parted. 

OoOoOoOo

Rose had just finished applying her makeup when there was a light rap on her door. While the Doctor was sleeping before she had taken a shower and changed but for some reason she felt like dressing up a bit. She chose a flowing blue sheer skirt with a matching vest top, cute strappy sandals and a silver necklace with hoop earrings. It felt good to dress up; she hadn't in nearly two years. 

She got up and opened the door. The Doctor audibly gasped when he took her in. Rose blushed. "Is there something wrong?" she asked, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Quite to the contrary Miss Tyler. You look beautiful. I only wish I would have changed for the occasion."

Rose took his hand. "You’re dashing as always Doctor. No need to change a thing."

The Doctor smiled widely at her and offered his arm, which she took and came in closely to his side. They walked for a few moments before Rose asked, "So where are we going? Have we landed somewhere?"

"We're going to the scene of the crime."

"Huh?"

"Or maybe I should say we are going back to the beginning."

"I still have no idea what you are talking about."

The Doctor just held her tighter and led her down another corridor. 

The walked for a little while and Rose had the distinct feeling that he was leading her around on purpose before they came to the wardrobe room. 

"Why are we here Doctor? Am I not dressed correctly?"

"Oh you are dressed perfectly."

He parted one of the racks to reveal a little sitting area set up behind. There was a large blanket set out, candles around the perimeter, as well as plates and silverware, a bottle of wine on ice and a low table full of steaming food. Now that she got closer she could smell it. There was chicken, potatoes, salad, rolls, and a bowl of bright fruit. "Oh Doctor, it's beautiful. Thank you."

"No you deserve it. Here, come eat." It almost seemed like he was rushing a little, before she knew it she was seated on a pillow with a heaping plate on her lap. He then poured her a glass of wine. He took a spot next to her and they both dug in. Rose found the food delicious, but was full soon after she started. In the last two years she had not eaten well, and nothing this lavish.

"Done so soon?" he asked."

"Yeah, I guess I didn't eat much when I was... alone."

The Doctor took her plate as well as his own and placed them on the table. Then he sat on the ground directly in front of her. He seemed hesitant but took her left arm in his hands, gently tracing his thumbs on her hand. 

"I'm so sorry for this. What happened to you, the worm, the pain, feeling left behind... all of it. I never had any intention of…"

"Stop," she said, not unkindly, but firmly. "I know now that you didn't do it on purpose, and that you were trying to get back. It would have been nice if you hadn't miscalculated, but it was understandable why you did." She gently poked at his belly and they both smiled. Rose continued, "The worst thing was that I was in pain all that time. I honestly don't know how I would have reacted to you not being there if I was fine. I might have adjusted better. Who knows?”

Now it was the Doctor's turn. "Rose, you did amazingly well considering what you had. I mean literally every time you moved your body you had a bad memory of me. I'm lucky you didn't try to kill me with a beer bottle when you saw me at first."

"I can't say it didn't cross my mind. Maybe not killing, but maiming was definitely on the table." 

They both chuckled. The Doctor rose to his knees and leaned in closer. "But it speaks to your state of mind and the damage that was done. I'm just so happy that we found each other again."

"Me too," Rose answered. Her voice had fallen to just above a whisper. He had moved close enough that she could feel his breath on her face. She found herself leaning as well until they were nearly touching. Unconsciously she licked her lips. As she did his eyes fell to them. 

His next words were breathed more than spoken. "I believe that we had a 'to be continued' that we never continued."

"I agree." Then their lips touched, chaste at first, as if they were testing, then deeper. Rose felt his tongue against her lips and eagerly opened to let him in. Together they explored each other, lips moving fervently, pulling them together. Their hands explored. Her hands found their way into his jacket and around his muscular back. His hands made it up the sides of her vest top and gently caressed the bottom of her breasts. Though the kiss was strong, their other movements were feather light. 

They spent the night holding, exploring and cherishing each other. The "to be continued" was just that. It went on for days as they forged a bond with each other. Nothing was rushed, but as they opened their bodies up to each other, it was clear that both of them had decided that they wanted nothing more than a life together…forever.


End file.
